Thinking Out Loud (Sequel to I don't do Birthdays)
by Cuticlecare
Summary: She had to go. He told her to go. 18 was too young anyway. He had to go college; she would be foolish not to go to LA. So Beca Mitchell gambled and went. Seven years on, she won big. Fame, Fortune, free rides - She won it all. Then Jesse Swanson came back to her life and Beca Mitchell wondered has she really won it all?
1. Chapter 1

**AN : **_Hi all, I hope you would like this first chapter. It is seven years after Beca left Jesse behind to move to LA with Luke. A lot had happened and life just goes on, you know. I have been inspired throughout this story with Ed Sheeran's Thinking out Loud. I am on Wattpad now and it's great. Look for BeAtOne. _

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Seven years later**

No. It can't be time to wake up yet. No.

Beca rolled over and burrowed herself deeper into her bed. She wiggled into the luxurious Egyptian cotton sheets and pulled her goose feather duvet over her head, trying to shut out the sound of that annoying alarm coming from her phone.

No. No joy.

That stupid alarm was beeping shrilly, like jackhammer in her head. Whatever possessed her to used Sisqo's Thong song as an alarm? She must have been mad. Beca grunted unhappily, blearily reaching out for the offending phone on the night stand. It was still beeping and buzzing crazily and with all her strength, Beca threw the phone across the room. It hit the door and fell to the floor with a satisfying thunk. If she wasn't feeling so ill, Beca would be quite impressed with her aim.

That stupid alarm mercifully stopped and Beca sank back gratefully into the folds of duvet, eyes already falling shut. Except there was a smart rap on the door and in the next second, she heard the door being opened and a voice calling out, "Good morning, Miss Beca."

Beca groaned, not believing her luck.

"Time to get up, Miss Beca. It's almost noon."

"Maria, don't open the..." Beca croaked. But it was too late. Her housekeeper, Maria had already pushed the buttons that drew the blackout blinds and within minutes, she could hear the mechanism whirring into action and the whole room was flooded with golden sunlight.

Beca slumped back into her pillow, totally disgruntled.

Maria came over with a glass of water and some Advil. Beca sat up groaning, popped the pills into her mouth and slowly drank the water.

"You've missed breakfast. Jose made huevo rancheros. If you like, I'll ask him to fix you a plate."

Beca shook her head. The thought of food made her felt queasy. She pushed her hair out of her face, feeling like she could be sick any minute. Seriously, how wild was the afterparty last night? She had a vague recollection of laughing and piling into a limo, paparazzi cameras snapping wildly as usual and then heading out to the latest hot underground joint. There was the usual crowd; her party posse, more loud music and dancing and more Kristal than she could remember.

At some point, someone must have brought her home. She could not recollect whom but she was now in her bed, undressed, not smelling of puke and thank god, all alone. In all, not that bad. At least she was in her own bed. Unlike previous occasions where she woke up somewhere totally alien and she had to call someone to pick her up.

Beca slumped back onto her pillows, staring up at the ceiling, willing herself awake. She could hear Maria pottering round the room picking up pieces of clothing she must have shed last night.

"Is she awake yet?" A familiar female voice spoke from the doorway. "Oh. Good morning, Beca."

Beca grunted her reply, sitting up slowly and planting her feet on the floor.

"Good party last night?"

Beca did not answer. Her PA, Sandra, was always far too cheerful in the morning. It's a failing. She should have added in the contract that her PA should not be too cheerful. In fact, she should add that to all her staff contracts. And they were only to approach her after 12.01 pm, preferably after she had some decent coffee.

"Roberto is coming up with your coffee," Sandra said, as if she could read her mind. She fussed with the iPad in her hand and looked at Beca expectantly. "Now, shall we go over today's schedule?"

Beca got up slowly and root around the nightstand. Once she had found her cigarettes, Beca lit one up and it was only after she had her first drag did she nod her head.

"Your ten o'clock massage is now at 11.30. I've rescheduled Sven from this morning to tomorrow. He was not too pleased we had to change your workout yet again this week."

Sandra stopped to check Beca's reaction. She was looking out of the window, still calmly smoking her cigarette, not saying a word.

"One o'clock lunch with Mr. Paterson at Browns. Luke told me to make sure you are there."

"Three pm meeting at Sony; followed by a 4.30 appointment for an interview. One of the daily rags like to have a sound bite. We could do that via phone. Then 5.00 pm hair appointment, 6pm stylist. She wants to discuss the new look. 7.30 invite to..."

"What time was lunch?"

Sandra drew to halt at Beca's question and she scrolled back on the iPad.

"One o'clock."

"Cancel it."

Sandra frowned a little. "Luke said it's important you make that meeting."

Beca was silent for a minute, standing by the window in deep thought.

"Show me the numbers," she finally said, holding out her hand. Sandra passed a sheaf of papers over and Beca quickly glanced through them. She snorted and tossed it aside.

"Papers."

She was handed the morning's press clippings. Beca rifled through them, stopping at one or another.

"Missed top ten again," Beca said bitterly before tossing the clippings aside on top of the other paperwork. She took a deep breath before turning round to face Sandra.

"Cancel all my other appointments today except lunch. I guess I have to explain myself to Mr. Paterson. Replace Sven with someone else who wouldn't grumble so much. Tell Petra I am not too happy with this new look - that pap photo is horrifying. I want something edgy and trendy; not terrifying."

"Got it."

"What time is it now?"

"11.20"

"I'm going for my massage. Get me Hayley for make-up and hair. God knows I can't go out to lunch looking like this."

Sandra hummed a little, checking the iPad yet again. "I don't think Hayley can make it in an hour. She's with Joan Collins and that usually requires half a day."

"Make it happen, Sandra. I don't care how."

"Ok." Sandra nodded. "And these came for you."

Beca finally noticed the bunches and bouquets of flowers in the room and the pile of wrapped presents.

"Why are they in my bedroom?" she yelled, stalking over to the array of bouquets and presents near the door. She irritably looked at the arrangements, plucking one card out. She read it, vehemently crumpled it before throwing it away.

"Well, it's your..." Sandra started but she stopped immediately seeing Maria frantically shaking her head.

"Get them all out. PR should handle all this," Beca continued, her voice still angry. "No more flowers in my room! I'm not having a repeat of that stalker smuggling a camera in one of these things. Get security to check all these parcels. I want them all unwrapped and checked next time."

"Ok. Anything else?"

"Send a tweet to RiRi. She deserved that number one. Send her some cigars or something. Find out what she likes. Not bloody flowers, for goodness sake. And get me a new phone."

Sandra nodded and then held out a few thick envelopes, "What should I do with these?"

"What?"

"You've got several invites. Some gallery opening tomorrow night. An awards show and a perfume launch."

"Bin them all." Beca said dismissively. "Where's my coffee?"

Almost to the second, the door swung opened and Roberto walked through with a silver tray. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the room and for the first time that morning, Beca looked slightly happier. Roberto was smiling as he came over with the tray.

"Good morning, Miss Beca," he called cheerily. He placed it on a table and handed a cup of coffee over to her. She nodded and took a sip of the fresh brew, closing her eyes for a moment to savour the taste. Her eyes sprang the opened and was drawn to the tray.

"What is that?" she asked, gesturing to the china plate and silver fork.

"Cake, Miss Beca," Roberto answered. "Since it is your birthday, Roberto made you special vanilla cake."

There was an audible gasp in the room and for a moment, Roberto looked confused. He continued defensively, "It's a very nice cake. From my mama's old recipe. For birthdays."

Beca nodded slowly. "Thank you, Roberto. It's very nice of you."

She was still smiling, as she sipped her coffee slowly. Maria quickly bustled the man out of the room before shutting the door quietly. Both her and Sandra immediately swivelled round to look at Beca but she had turned to face the window, dragging deeply on another cigarette.

She exhaled slowly, the smoke curling lazily round her head.

"Fire him."

* * *

**Lunch time at Browns**

Luke glanced at the Rolex on his hand. She was half an hour late and there was only so many excuses he could give to Mr. Paterson. A slight frown marred his forehead but it was smoothed over quickly.

The restaurant was busy as usual with the lunchtime crowd. A famous name and a folded bill in the maitre 'd hand had secured them one of the more prominent tables in the restaurant. Luke placed his glass on the starched linen tablecloth and almost immediately, a waiter topped up their wine. Mr. Paterson was regaling him with yet another long-winded anecdote and Luke smiled charmingly.

That man was a bore. A powerful bore nevertheless and not a particularly patient man. But that expensive vintage red the waiter was pouring into his glass seemed to be his liking and he seemed quite mellow. Luke had guessed correctly that it was the wine that was making him stay.

She finally appeared in a flurry of smiles and perfume.

"I am so sorry! Traffic was such a nightmare!"

Beca fluttered down to kiss Nate Paterson on both cheeks and gave him a big hug before settling down on a seat. The waiter handed her a menu and another fussed over her and Beca smiled a megawatt smile in thanks.

"You've made it," Luke remarked, resting his eyes on her. She nodded his way before turning her full attention to their guest. With her engaging their guest in conversation, Luke was free to look at her again. She was sitting across him, her face animated and wreathed in smiles as she talked to Nate Paterson. She was being charming, eyes twinkling and flicking her dark hair back.

Luke was not entirely sure of the new haircut when he first saw it. It was far too short; so very different from the wealth of luscious locks she usually wear loose around her but it was growing on him. It was more dramatic and the new deeper brown colour made her skin more porcelain. Luke shook his head slightly; despite the five years in LA, she was still so pale.

She was wearing a sweet, understated cream dress, cinched with a gold belt, flaring out fetchingly from her tiny waist and Luke silently sent a prayer of thanks. She could have strode in, hungover from the party last night in her usual uniform of skinny jeans and vest but Beca had made an effort for this lunch. She remembered their guest loved a feminine woman in dress and that cream and pastels were his favourite colour.

Their orders came and soon they were tucking into their food.

"So Miss Mitchell, what are we going to do with you?" Nate said, smiling at the tiny brunette.

"What do you mean, Nate?" Beca said lightly, spearing a bit of the egg white omelette with her silver fork before delicately putting it in her mouth.

"You've seen the numbers, my dear."

She took her time chewing and swallowing her food before answering, "Oh, that."

"It had not been that good for the past two singles. Are you drying up, Miss Mitchell?"

For a moment, Luke saw that flash in her blue eyes that spelled trouble and he was ready to step in. But the flash was gone and Beca was now dabbing her mouth with her napkin.

"Nate honey, the hits will come. I am not a machine, you know."

She was smiling coquettishly but Luke knew she wanted to pepper that last sentence with at least one swear word. But she had done the right thing because Nate was enchanted. He leaned over and patted her hand in an avuncular manner.

"You don't have to worry, my dear. You are still one of our biggest stars. We won't terminate your contract. Just yet."

Her smile was as brittle as glass.

"That is good to know," she said evenly, taking another sip from her glass.

"The label does think we should kick up your PR a notch. Get you out there more. Some more endorsements maybe," Nate said in between mouthfuls of steak. "Tell me, how you feel about endorsing Albert Bartlett potatoes?"

That flash came back to her eyes.

"I just need some time to work on the music, Nate. I'm still recovering from the last tour. Good music needs work. Maybe if I take some time off the grid..."

"No, no. Not going to happen. No one buys singles from a recluse. We need to get you out there more."

"Nate.."

Luke heard the sharp tone in her voice and smoothly stepped in, "What Beca meant, Nate, is we should leave her to work on the music. We could draw up a PR plan together later; Beca does not really need to worry about the small details."

Nate Paterson was nodding in agreement as he chewed on his steak. Luke monopolised the conversation once more, steering it to various other safer topics and they continued their lunch.

"Well, this has been a pleasure, my dear," Nate said, a little later, face flushed red with wine. He got up and Luke and Beca were on their feet. He leant over to kiss Beca on her cheeks before shaking Luke's hand. "See that you make an appointment soon. We should discuss that potato deal."

When he finally walked out of the restaurant, Beca sat down heavily, a tiny scowl on her face.

"Potatoes? Potatoes?" she muttered under her breath."God, I fucking hate that man!"

"Well, that man holds the contract," Luke said. "Why were you late? I had to make him slightly drunk to keep him from flouncing off."

Beca ignored the question. "How much longer is the contract? Why can't we break it and go with someone else?"

Luke regarded her before replying, "Well, you do have an appointment with Sony today."

Beca was oddly silent as she concentrated on her plate.

"Beca?"

"I've cancelled the appointment."

He nearly exploded but Luke managed to button it down just in time. They could not have a row in this very public place. The only sign he was mad was by the very careful way he lined up his fork. When he looked up at her, Beca could see the hardness in his eyes.

"What do you mean you cancel it?"

His voice was like ice.

"I'm tired," she replied, her voice equally cold. "I'm just so fucking tired being paraded around like a poodle. It's not about the fucking music anymore."

For a moment, Beca thought Luke was going to give her another sharp retort. But then he sighed and placed his hand over hers.

"I know, baby."

He gave her hand a squeeze and Beca smiled weakly back.

"You look beautiful today," Luke said, giving her a half smile. "You clean up well, Miss Mitchell. I was quite surprised you didn't come in nursing a hangover."

Beca played with her food.

"You brought me home last night."

"Yep. You were pretty trashed."

"But you didn't stay."

It felt awkward for a moment as they both fell silent. He was still holding her hand across the table.

"Beca,"Luke said softly. "You had not asked me to stay in years."

She was quiet. Luke slipped his hand into his jacket, drew out a velvet jewellery box and placed it next to her hand. Beca stared at it for a moment.

"What is that?" she finally said.

"Up to you," Luke replied. "It could be your birthday gift. Or it could be the other thing."

"You know I don't do birthdays, Luke," Beca said, putting down her fork. She met Luke's steady gaze. "And I'm not ready for the other one yet." She was about to say something else when loud voices could be heard from the maitre'd desk. They turned to look at the commotion.

"I am seeing a friend! Her name is Beca Mitchell!" A woman's voice could be heard yelling.

"Oh shit!" Beca said, her fork clattering. Of all the baggage that came with this celebrity life, this was the one that she hated the most. She could feel her heart palpitating and her breathing was getting rapid. Which one of her stalker was this?

"Don't touch me!" the woman was now yelling. "I know her! Beca!"

Luke was already on his feet and was beside her in seconds. "We'll leave by the kitchens. I'll tell Paolo to drive the car round."

Beca was hurriedly getting up and gathering her things

"Beca, come on out, you freak!"

Luke was already holding her tight by her arm and they were walking quickly towards the service entrance.

"Beca, come on out! I'm not afraid of your voodoo tricks! You witch!"

Beca stopped in her tracks.

"I've got holy water. And I'm not afraid to use it, Beca!"

Beca's mouth fell opened. She turned around really slowly.

"Aubrey?"

And she could not believe whom she was seeing being held back by two staff.

"Aubrey Posen?'

* * *

Beca was still reeling in shock.

She was sitting down, hardly believing who was sitting opposite her right this moment. Sitting down right across there, smiling. Aubrey Posen, her arch nemesis in high school. The one who not only drugged her and left her vulnerable to rape but nearly brought Beca with her as she tried to jump off the roof.

In all honesty, Beca was still unsure why she was sitting calmly across this basket case from high school. Luke had been anxious with worry but her gut instinct told her Aubrey meant her no harm on this occasion and Beca said she would be ok. He did not quite believe it and chose to sit in a table nearby, giving them space to catch up.

"Oh my god, Aubrey. I cannot believe it is you."

"Better believe it," Aubrey said with a grin.

"I've not seen you since..."

"Yeah. Must be seven years now."

"What are you doing here?" Beca asked incredulously; still not over the shock of seeing her. It must have shown on her face because Aubrey suddenly looked a little flustered as she took a sip of her drink.

"Sorry for that little crazy display just now," Aubrey apologise. "I really wanted to get your attention."

"It's ok," Beca said graciously; completely omitting the fact that she nearly had a full scale panic attack. "I'm glad you yelled out. I wouldn't recognise it was you." Once the words were out, Beca felt like she have not said them. It sounded highly unflattering.

Aubrey Posen had changed.

In high school, she had always been scarily put together, not one blonde hair out of place, but the Aubrey today was more deshabillè. She had a long floaty cotton skirt on, which clashed with the spaghetti strap top she was wearing. Her hair wasbrassy blonde with brown roots showing, pulled back into an easy ponytail. She didn't wear any make-up; perhaps just a trace of coloured lip balm and her nails were chipped. In fact, sitting next to her, in her Azzedine Alaia dress and Louboutin heels, hair and make-up done, Beca felt she was the more painted of the two.

Aubrey's smiles were different too. Back then, they had always been a little fake but Beca could see she was genuinely smiling now, like she was happy to see Beca. Somehow Aubrey Posen looked more happy, more ...relaxed.

"It's so good to see you, Beca."

"Yeah, you too. How long have you been out here?"

"About two years now."

"Wow! I can't believe I've never run into you before."

There was a slight pause. Beca could not shake the feeling at how fake she was being, saying all these pleasantries. They didn't really part as friends and Aubrey was not exactly in the list of friends she would consider keeping in touch with. Beca shifted uncomfortably at that thought - she had not been very good at keeping in touch with anyone lately.

Aubrey cleared her throat, "Listen, Beca. I know you are trying to be polite. Thank you for not calling the cops on me. After all that happened between us -"

"Bree, it's fine - "

"No, let me explain please," Aubrey held up her hand to cut Beca off. "I'm not sure whether you've heard about what happened to me after that - "

"I sorta heard. You were -" Beca dragged out the last word, unsure whether she should continue. Aubrey nodded quickly.

"It's ok, Beca. You can say it," she said. "I went crazy and had to be admitted. I am ok with that now."

"Ok."

"But I got better. So much better," Aubrey continued. "It was hard work but the important thing was I got better. I cannot begin to tell you how grateful I am for what you did."

"It's fine, really," Beca said a little uncomfortably. She was still not good at this.

"No, Beca, you saved my life that day. I owe you," Aubrey said, staring earnestly at her. "I came back looking for you. I really wanted to thank you for saving me that day."

Aubrey was nervously swilling her drink. "By the time I came back, I've found out you went out to LA. That was pretty amazing, Beca. I remembered you told me you wanted to do it. And you did. That was pretty fucking amazing."

She was smiling at her and Beca could not help smiling back. The move was not without tears and she left so much behind. The last seven years had not all been Kristal and Maybach but she had worked hard and had become a star. Her music had been on the charts and the fans still adored her. In all, Beca was a kick-ass success. Not bad for alt girl who never quite fit in in high school.

"So what are you doing now?" Beca asked. Aubrey was twirling her straw with her fingers and she lit up when Beca asked the question.

"That's another one I owe you, Beca," Aubrey said. "Seeing you coming out here chasing your dream, just made me realised I don't want to be a doctor."

Aubrey's face split into a huge grin. "So I did what I really wanted to do."

Beca's mouth dropped open. "You painted? You're an artist now?!"

"Yeah. And a good one," Aubrey grinned back at her. "I even got an exhibition coming up."

"Aubrey, that is fantastic!"

"- which is why I was so desperate to get hold of you," Aubrey continued. She leaned forward and grabbed Beca's hand. "I wouldn't be here because of you, Beca. I know you are probably busy and can't come to the opening tomorrow but if you could, that would be swell."

She looked so earnest and heartfelt that Beca gulped a little. She was used to people asking her to attend this or that, just to drum up some cheap publicity and frankly, she thought that sucked. She hated it and on principle, she usually refused, saying she was otherwise engaged, But seeing Aubrey so uncharacteristically earnest, Beca was divided now.

"Sure. Why didn't you send me an invite?"

"I tried. I think I've sent several through your PR and your agent," Aubrey was now saying. "I even popped over to your house and hand-delivered one. But I didn't get a reply. Your housekeeper is kinda scary as well."

Beca thought about the stacks of invites she always tell Sandra to bin.

"Oh, you mean, Maria, " she replied absentmindedly. "She's lovely actually. Wait. What? You know where I live?" Beca was amazed and slightly horrified at how tenacious Aubrey was.

"It's not that hard to find out, Beca." Aubrey said. She placed a thick cream envelope with a flowery calligraphic A decorating the front, on the table between them . "Here. just in case you didn't get the earlier ones."

"Thanks, Aubrey. I will try to come. I'll check my schedule with my PA."

"I know you might be too busy. If not tomorrow, just tell me when you can drop in. I really wanted you to see what you did for me." Aubrey said. "It would be great if you can come tomrrow though. Some of the old high school peeps will be there."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Remember Mike? And Bianca. Tom is coming. Jesse. Mark and Kate who are now married."

Beca only recognised one name.

"Jesse? Jesse's going to be there?"

"Hmm? Oh. Yeah, he's coming."

Beca was frowning a little now. "I thought he's based in London. Is he flying in?"

"Oh." Aubrey was now staring strangely at Beca, her brows knitting together. "You didn't know? Jesse's moved to LA now. He's been here for the past three months."

* * *

**A/N ** _Here you are, my darlings. Of course, Beca was no longer that shy, sweet girl of eighteen. Please tell me what you think of Beca's character now. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Beca ripped off her headphones from her ears and casually tossed it over the mixer. She rubbed her ears for a moment, trying to get rid of the slightly numbed feeling before leaning over the keyboard of her Mac. A quick tap of a button and her latest mix, the one she had been tinkering with all morning, swelled out from the professional grade, state of the art speakers in her studio. She sank back into her chair, closing her tired eyes, letting the music swirled round her. She always used the headphones when she did all the fine mixing but listening it out loud like this was the best way to gauge the full effect.

Her fingers tapped in time and then Beca frowned.

No, she didn't like that bit. That bit had to go.

She scribbled furiously on her notepad, checking the timings before throwing her pen down and reaching for her mug. Beca grimaced after a quick look into her mug. Obviously Maria, her housekeeper, had been chatting too much with her mom. They both seemed to think that she should be healthier; already nagging her to to cut down on her cigarettes and coffee. And judging by the unappetising tepid green sludge clinging to the inside of her mug, they were trying to make her eat more healthily.

Ugh. She needed coffee.

Beca reached for her phone and switched it on, noting the various missed calls and texts.

"Sandra," she barked into the speaker phone next to her mixing console.

A low buzz came over the phone before Sandra's cheery voice crackled through. "Hey Beca, how's your morning?"

Beca looked the pile of notes on her desk and the double Mac screens in front of her, full with open windows. "Productive," she said in a clipped voice. "I need coffee."

"Sure. Do you want me to run out to Starbucks?"

"Starbucks? Why?" Beca said frowning. "Roberto knows how I like my coffee."

"You told me to fire him yesterday, Beca."

Beca frowned, remembering yesterday's cake debacle before saying churlishly, "I didn't..."

"Yes, you did." Sandra answered. All Sandra heard in reply was some low grumbling over the speakerphone. She smiled before continuing. "Don't worry, I didn't. I know you can't do without his coffee."

"Don't ever joke about that." Beca deadpanned, smiling a little. Sandra knew her too well. She knew when not to take her shit and Beca loved her for it.

"I'll send a pot up and some cake," Sandra replied. "Oh. Luke came looking for you."

Beca chewed her lower lip.

"I was busy."

"Yes, you switched off your phone. He just wanted to know whether you want to go to Hakkasan for dinner tonight. He's due to fly out to London first thing tomorrow."

Beca tapped her fingers again, thinking. Her eyes fell on that velvet jewellery box on the side of her console. The one that Luke had casually placed by her hand during lunch yesterday. She knew what was inside. A brilliant two carat princess cut diamond set in platinum. It was not the first time he had given it to her. And twice she had sent it back immediately. Why she had held on to it this time round was a mystery.

Beca sighed thinking about the ring.

He had not explicitly asked her to marry him. He knew her too well for that. She had never ask for anything else from their relationship other that what they had now. She was not in love with him. She knew that since they went out to LA seven years ago but over the years, they had developed some sort of comfortable, open relationship.

They worked well together. Beca knew Luke kept her straight. She could be her own worse enemy sometimes and Luke had always been there to smooth things over being his usual charming self. Yes, they had the usual hook ups; although it was getting less often nowadays and she never asked him to stay over. They did go out with other people in the last seven years. It was LA. There were plenty of chances to do so but they were the constant in each other's lives.

They respected each other, understood each other and sometimes the familiarity was very comforting. He was a true friend and she never wished for anything more. And Beca was puzzled why Luke was pressing this.

"What else do I have tonight?" Beca asked, rubbing her eyes. The screens were a strain on her eyes sometimes.

"5 o'clock meeting with Joe about the music video. And Clara left a message asking whether you'd like to pop down to the Spider Club tonight. She reserved you a table," Sandra replied.

"What else?" Beca asked.

She didn't feel like partying tonight. She should really work on her mixes.

"And this gallery opening tonight?" Sandra said. "You asked me to remind you?"

Beca stared at the ceiling for a moment, thinking. Yes, she remembered that stunt Aubrey pulled yesterday. It had been such a surprise to see her; even more so talking and catching up with Aubrey Posen. Beca remembered the thick white invite with the flowery calligraphy. She remembered how grateful Aubrey was and how keen she was for Beca to come. But most of all, Beca remembered what Aubrey said.

"_Some of the old high school peeps will be there."_

"_Really?"_

"_Remember Mike? Bianca. Tom is coming. Jesse. Mark and Kate who are now married."_

"_Jesse? Jesse's gong to be there?"_

"_Hmm? Oh. Yeah, he's coming."_

"_I thought he's based in London. Is he flying in?"_

Beca could still see Aubrey frowning as she stared at her.

"_You didn't know? Jesse's moved to LA now. He's been here for the past three months." _

Beca rubbed her eyes at the thought.

Jesse Swanson.

Jesse Samuel Swanson.

He would be there at Aubrey's opening tonight and apparently he had been around in LA for three months without Beca knowing.

"Sandra, I get back to you."

Beca cut off the call before Sandra could answer. She stood up, checking her pockets for her phone and cigarettes before walking out of the studio into garden and the afternoon sun. She leant against a wall, lit up one and slowly inhale, feeling that addictive smoke filling up her lungs before exhaling out. Her nerves dulled a little with that nicotine hit.

She should quit. It was a disgusting habit. She didn't know why she started. Probably trying to look all hard and cool at the beginning but that stupid addiction stuck.

Jesse Swanson.

When was the last time she spoke to him?

Beca could not remember. And with that, guilt stabbed through her. She had been terrible with keeping up with her old friends lately. Maybe if she had, she would know Jesse had made the move to LA. Why did she lose touch with everyone?

Beca drew another pull from the cigarette.

She knew the answer to her own question.

It was just too hard.

* * *

**A month after she left**

"_Hey!" The Skype photo was a bit shaky but Beca could not help but smile at the way Benji, Jesse and Chloe was jostling in front of the screen to say hi to her._

"_LA Woman! How are you?" Chloe squealed._

"_Nice song reference there, Chlo," Beca said, grinning into the screen. "How's Moving in Day?"_

_"Crazy." "The activity's fair pretty cool." "Your dad barged in on us, Becs."_

_Beca laughed at the chorus that came at her. _

"_Beca, listen to me. They were giving out rape whistles!" Chloe said, her eyes widening. "I'm not sure what kind of college this is. Why are they giving out rape whistles?"_

"_They gave you girls rape whistles?" Jesse said, frowning at Chloe on the screen now. Benji was nodding at that. "How come us guys didn't get one? Guys can get raped too, you know."_

"_No one wants to rape you, Jesse," Chloe said, rolling her eyes. _

"_Hey, Jesse's good-looking. There's a lot of man there," Benji said jokingly coming to Jesse's defence."The girls won't be able to keep their hands off him."_

_Jesse did clear his throat a little uncomfortably at that and Benji clapped his hand over his mouth. Beca was laughing her head off. _

"_Are you both roomies?" Beca said, changing the subject. "Show me your dorm."_

* * *

"_How's your classes?"_

"_Ughh, Beca," Jesse groaned. "So much work. Where is all this college party thing everyone's talking about?"_

_It was about a month in and Jesse was skyping her in the dead of the night. That hour seemed to work for them. He was lying on his front, staring into his laptop. Beca thought she could hear Benji snoring._

"_Your dad's a tyrant, Becs. I think he had it in for me." Jesse complained, rubbing his eyes. He looked tired._

"_Probably he suspects what you did to his daughter," Beca said knowingly. It teased a tired smile from him._

"_I miss you." Jesse said, a wistful smile on his face, fingers stroking the screen. _

"_Miss you too." _

_They were silent for a moment before Beca frowned at him. _

"_Have you sign up for anything?" she asked. "Any clubs? Pledge any frat house? Donald and Bumper should be able to get you in theirs."_

_Jesse was propping his cheek in his palm._

"_No. Not interested."_

"_Jesse! You should," Beca scolded. "College's fun. So says my dad. Join something. Make memories. Have fun."_

"_I dunno, Becs," he had mumbled sleepily. "I just want to get college over and done with... and move to LA."_

_He was yawning now._

"_You should get some sleep. We'll skype next week."_

"_No. Keep talking."_

"_Don't you have an early class tomorrow?"_

"_Yeah. But it's OK. Benji's going to wake me up." Jesse said, yawning again. "I can't wait for Christmas break. It would be good to see you, baby."_

"_Yeah. Umm.. about that..." Beca was looking a little guilty._

_All trace of sleepiness was gone from his face. _

"_You're not coming home for Christmas?" Jesse said. He looked so stricken over the screen that Beca could feel her heart twisting. _

"_We.. I just got here..." Beca said, stumbling over her words. She always tried not to bring up Luke. "I've got a bunch of things to do and could really save that airfare."_

_He was biting his lower lip and looked away for an instant, like he was trying to keep his emotions in check. It would be the first Christmas both of them had without the other. They had always had Christmas together since they were five. Christmas always meant carolling, making cookies, joke presents culminating with a huge dinner at the Swansons on Christmas day. Beca was going to miss all that. She already missed Thanksgiving._

"_Yeah, that made sense," Jesse finally spoke. He gave her a ghost of a smile. "Will Luke be there for Christmas too? He's not going home?"_

_Beca took a deep breath. "Yeah, he's going to be here."_

_Jesse nodded slowly. "Ok. That's good. At least you're not alone for Christmas."_

_He swallowed a little before saying, "Tell me what's you've been up to. How was the gig last night?"_

_Beca talked for the next ten minutes while he nodded over the screen. The gig had been great. It had been better than great. The venue was tiny and their slot was late but the room was still rammed and Beca had been so excited to see so many famous faces in the room, nodding along to her music. That had been exhilarating. _

"_...and Bob, the manager, said we could do another slot next week..." Beca said excitedly. She then stopped talking. Jesse was fast asleep, head down on the keyboard. Beca smiled a little. He was going to wake up with a crick on his neck. _

"_Good night baby," Beca whispered and she pressed the button to end the call._

* * *

"_We made it into the Treblemakers, Becs."_

_Beca was smiling at how excited Benji was. Jesse was grinning at the background and he pushed Benji aside so his face now loomed in the screen._

"_And I got a job at the school radio station," Jesse said excitedly. "It's all stacking CDs now but who knows, Becs? The station manager might let me have a slot and play some music. I can play your mixes and everyone would know I know you before you got famous."_

_Beca was laughing._

"_Yeah.. and the people at the station are all cool. I have shifts with Carly and she's cool," Jesse said enthusiastically. "She made it into the Barden Bellas together with Chloe."_

"_What in the world is a Barden Bella?" Beca said._

"_Girls aca-pella group. Like the opposite of us Treblemakers," Jesse replied. "Sworn enemies. But not really. If half of the stories we heard were true..."_

"_Where's Chloe?" _

"_She's at practice," Jesse said. He looked at his watch, eyebrows knitting. "They are going to be done in about 15 minutes. I'm supposed to meet Carly after the Bella's practice. We are going to have lunch before our shift."_

_Beca nodded, tamping down that uneasy feeling she had. "Sounds cool. Make sure you'll get a big ass burrito."_

"_Nah. Carly doesn't like Mexican food. We are going for pizza."_

"_OK. You'd better go." Beca said, smiling on the screen._

_Jesse was grinning. "I'll catch you later, Becs."_

_Benji waited until Jesse was out of the door before swinging back to Beca._

"_You ok there?" _

_Beca looked at Benji's concerned face, amplified on the screen. _

"_Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" she answered. "Now tell me all about the Treblemakers."_

* * *

"_Hey, just wanna wish you guys luck for the finals."_

"_Thank you, Becs!" Chloe said, grinning into the Skype screen. That was Chloe; excitable and as bouncy as ever, She then jumped in her seat, squealing. "OMG Becaaaa! I heard your single on the radio! You are officially famous!"_

"_Did you? Oh my god! You did?" Beca looked gobsmacked._

"_Yeah. It was awesome!" Benji said, his head now appearing next to Chloe. "Jesse and I were jumping up and down in our dorm when it came on."_

_Beca laughed at the mental image. She could so imagine both of them jumping like little kids. Hell, she was jumping about herself when she heard her mix on air._

"_Where's Jesse?" Beca said, still grinning. Chloe and Benji were now looking at each other for a while before looking a little sheepish._

"_Umm.. he's out," Benji said. "I think he didn't get your text saying we are going to Skype. That's why hes's not here..."_

"_Ok."_

_Beca looked at her screen at both of them conferring with each other in hushed voices before hearing Chloe saying quietly yet fiercely at Benji, "She has to know.."_

"_Guys, what is it?" Beca said. Benji was shaking his head looking unsure but Chloe looked determined._

"_Umm... Beca, just so you know..." Chloe said. "Jesse's been spending a lot of time with Carly lately."_

_Beca nodded. She had seen the instagrams and the tweets. _

"_I think they are serious." Chloe said, chewing her lip. "He's out most nights studying with her."_

_Beca quirked an eyebrow. _

"_Is that what you college kids call it nowadays?" Beca said, her smile still fixed on her lips. Chloe turned to whisper something to Benji and shoved his shoulder. Benji looked exasperated before saying "Ok!" softly to Chloe._

"_Umm.. Becs, I've gotta go," Benji was now saying. He smiled at the screen. "Congrats on that single. You are famous!"_

_Beca chuckled, waving at Benji from the screen. Once Benji was out of the room, Chloe turned back._

"_You ok?" she asked worriedly._

_Beca rolled her eyes._

"_Yes, I am," she said. Chloe was still looking worried. "I'm fine, Chlo. Jesse needs to have fun. Get a girl. Go crazy in college. I can't ask him to wait for me."_

"_But are you really ok?" Chloe insisted._

_Beca sighed. "If I'm not, I can't do anything about it." She paused for a moment before continuing. "How's Carly? Is she nice? Will she take care of him?"_

"_Yeah." Chloe nodded. "She's cool. She quit the Bellas and now a sorority chick but she's one of the nice ones. And hot. Umm... not as hot as you."_

"_Chloe.." Beca admonished. "You don't have to do that."_

"_Just so you know.." Chloe said conspiratorially. "He doesn't look at her like he looked at you."_

"_Chloe, stop!" Beca passed her hand over her eyes for a moment, trying to calm herself down. "I can deal with this, ok? I can deal with Jesse seeing other people and having another life. That is the price I have to pay for coming here. But you are not h__elping with all this."_

"_I'm sorry." _

_Chloe looked so sad that Beca felt a little bad for being so sharp with her. She was just trying to make Beca felt better; Beca knew that but seriously, it was not helping. _

_Beca smiled shakily at the camera, changing the topic. "Hey, have you heard what Stacie is up to lately?"_

* * *

**Two years later**

"_Oh my god, Beca! This is your apartment?" Stacie stood at the doorway, gawking at the interior. "Beca, you are rich!"_

"_Don't be silly," Beca said. She tossed her keys into a bowl and pulled Stacie's rolling cabin bag into the room. "This is modest compared to some."_

_Stacie was still speechless as she walked in and took in the furnishings, the golden records on the wall and the awards on the shelves._

"_You are rich, successful AND famous!" Stacie said, disbelievingly. "God, girl! I am so proud of you!"_

_Stacie went over and gave Beca a hug. Beca just laughed._

"_And I'm proud of you too, Stacie! Dean's List? You made the Dean's list at Berkeley two years running?" Beca said, hugging the taller brunette again. "That is just so awesome!"_

_They parted with tears in their eyes and Beca went into her kitchen with Stacie following behind._

"_What do you want to drink?" Beca asked, opening her enormous fridge._

"_Coke. Full sugar. Adele version please."_

_Beca got one and handed it over to her._

"_So when's the rest coming?" Stacie said casually as she popped the can open. "It would be good to see everyone."_

"_Amy is just driving down," Beca said. "And Chloe and Benji will come tomorrow."_

_Stacie frowned. _

"_Only Chloe and Benji? When's Jesse's coming?"_

"_He's not."_

"_What do you mean he's not?" Stacie replied. "We've been planning this for months! Just the old group hanging out in your amazingly lavish pad in LA."_

_Beca chuckled at that before smiling a little grimly._

"_No, he's going backpacking in Europe," Beca said. "At least that's what his facebook said."_

"_He didn't even tell you he's not coming?" Stacie said aghast. "After you've invited everyone and even offer to pay for the flights?"_

"_I think Europe wins over LA any day, babe," Beca said, trying to make light of it. _

"_Not when it's all of us. And you," Stacie said. "We haven't had a summer week together for like, three years!"_

_Beca shrugged._

"_Who's he's backpacking with?" Stacie continued. "Carly? Was that her name? The girlfriend?"_

"_No, it's someone else now, I think. I didn't really keep up. Chloe or Benji would know."_

_Stacie's face clouded over at that comment._

"_When was the last time you talk to Jesse?" Stacie said. Beca patted her pockets, looking for that crumpled pack of cigarettes, drew one out and lit it up. Stacie's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. "When did you even start smoking?" _

_Beca seemed to realise that she was. It was an automatic habit now whenever she was nervous. She quickly stubbed the cigarette out. "I'm sorry. I should have asked whether you mind," Beca apologised, wafting the smoke away._

"_It's your house," Stacie said simply. She was not to be sidetracked. "When was the last time you talk to Jesse?"_

_Beca rubbed her eyes. _

"_Maybe a few months back."_

"_How many is a few?"_

"_Three? Six?" Beca tried to think. "Six. I've not talk to him in six months."_

"_Six months?!"_

_Beca felt a little sick when she realised that. _

"_Beca, what is happening?" Stacie was standing in front of her now, forcing Beca to look up at her. "You guys were tight. He had plans to move out to LA as soon as he graduated. That was all he talked about when you left. And now you are not even talking? What the hell happened?"_

_Beca shrugged. _

"_Plans changed. People moved on," Beca replied. "It was just easier, Stacie. I had lots to do. I toured a lot. And he had this whole other life which was much better without me coming in."_

"_You are always a part of his life, Beca." Stacie insisted._

"_Was. Was part of his life. It's healthier this way," Beca said. "Just drop it, Stacie. Let's just have a nice week together, ok? I don't really want to talk about this. There is nothing we can do about it now."_

* * *

Beca remembered when was the last time she saw Jesse. It was at least three years ago at his graduation from Barden. She had to be there, of course. Not only for him. For Chloe and Benji too. She managed to get an invite, courtesy of her dad and Beca remembered how her voice was nearly hoarse with cheering when her old friends went up and took their degrees. She was just so proud of them.

He looked so happy.

And Mr. and Mrs. Swanson were surrounding him, hugging him tight, looking so proud and Beca had tears in her eyes. She turned, not wanting to intrude on that lovely family moment, disappearing into the crowd and quickly seeking out Chloe and Benji.

They were falling all over her, hugging her tight, not really believing she was actually there.

She did not tell them she was coming.

Beca was about to leave when she heard him calling out to her.

"Beca! Oh my god, Beca!"

It took her a moment to collect herself before turning back. He was running up to her, gown flapping, mortar board askew on his head. She had to laugh. He looked so funny. Now he was standing in front of her, trying to catch his breath and Beca looked at him fondly.

"You ok there?" Beca asked, half smile on her lips.

"You came," Jesse gasped out, still trying to catch his breath. "I didn't know you were here!"

"Yeah. Can't miss your graduation, college boy," Beca said lightly.

He had caught his breath now, smiling down at her.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me you are coming," Jesse said. He still looked a little shell-shocked.

"I had a gap in my schedule. I could come," Beca said casually. She didn't add that she told her PA at the pain of death or firing, whichever came sooner, to keep those dates free.

"Oh. Ok." Jesse said, almost uncomfortably. He glanced behind her, half expecting an entourage before staring at her again. "So. How long are you going to be around?"

"Couple of days. Had to spend some time with Dad and the stepmonster."

Jesse nodded and grimaced a little.

"I wish I knew you were coming," he said carefully. "We could hang out, you know."

Beca frowned at that.

"You won't be around the next couple of days?"

"No. I have to catch my flight." Jesse replied, looking almost miserable now.

This was new. Well, she had not been keeping tabs but this was definitely new.

"I've got a place in NYU Steinhardt for their Master's programme. I'm flying in early. Ma insisted I get settle in and all that." Jesse said, running his hand through his hair. "I think she just wants to go shopping."

_So not LA then? No. Of course not. That was no longer his plan. _

"Their Music Composition programme? " Beca asked. Jesse nodded in response. Beca smiled as brightly as she could, forcing down what she was truly feeling inside. "Way to go, Jess! That's a really good one."

They stood apart for a moment, trying to think of something to say.

"I've gotta go," Beca said finally breaking the silence. "Sheila's cooking dinner and I'm supposed to help."

"Ok."

"Ok." Beca said. "Good luck in New York."

"Thanks for that."

She started to turn away.

"Beca?"

She turned back at his call. He looked like he was not entirely sure he should say something. He then breathed out. "I'm glad you are here, Becs. It made my day..." Jesse paused, face frowning as he searched for the right word. He exhaled another deep breath. "..it made my day complete."

Beca kept that smile on her face. She nodded. She understood what she had to do.

She had to let him go now.

This part of his life was complete.

"I'll see you around," she said cheerily, taking a step back. "You're going to enjoy New York."

Another smile. Her cheeks were already hurting. He was standing still and Beca committed that memory of him in his flappy graduation gown, with that unsure, almost polite smile on his lips.

She could not read his face.

She did not know what he was thinking.

And it hit her how much distance had grown between them.

"Goodbye, Becs."

"Goodbye, Jesse."

She took another step back and turned around.

And then Beca Mitchell had walked slowly away.

* * *

The afternoon sun was burning her skin. Beca stepped further into the shade, lighting up another cigarette. All this reminiscing was making her head hurt.

That was the last time she saw him. Whatever other things she heard about him was some passing comment either via Stacie or Amy. He aced that Masters programme and went out to London about a year or two years back. Beca was not completely sure.

She lost touch.

Not only with him but with the rest too.

The calls dropped in frequency first as everyone go busier with their lives. And then the emails, followed by the casual notes on Facebook and Twitter, dropping down to likes and then none at all. She did run into Amy since Amy moved to LA for her acting career and spoke to Stacie once in a long while but that was all.

Beca took out her phone, scrolling through her Twitter and Facebook quickly. She had not looked at them for a long time. She had people to do all those tweets and grams now. It took her some time to find Chloe and Benji. Some of their entries did not even made sense. That was how long she had not been in touch.

Her fingers hovered over the phone.

She wanted them to type "Jesse Swanson" but she felt a little ill. It felt like she was again intruding into his life. Where she was not wanted.

_Go on. Just a quick look._

Her fingers were still frozen. And then her phone rang loudly. The caller ID came up and she answered the call.

"Hey Luke."

"Hey babe," Luke's dulcet British tones came through the phone. "You've been busy today."

"Yeah. Yeah I have." Beca rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. She threw the cigarette butt on the patio and went inside. The coolness of the airconditioning was soothing after all that sun. "I got that mix sorted. That one was annoying the hell out of me."

"Good girl," came Luke's reply. "I've been busy all morning too."

Beca hummed in response. She went into her studio and saw the silver platter with the coffee pot and china cup ready for her. Beca gratefully pounced on the coffee.

"Had a meeting with Nate Paterson this morning."

Beca groaned out loud. "I swear to you, Luke! I will NOT do a potato commercial!"

Luke was laughing at her vehemence.

"Don't worry about that, love. You know I won't let you sell potatoes."

"Ok. That's good." Beca said in relief.

"I got a few interesting projects lined up though." Luke said teasingly.

"What?" she asked warily.

"Mmm.. a few things," Luke said. "Sony is looking for a jingle. No, don't say anything yet, Beca. This is not one of those run of the mill commercials. It's going to be a sonic logo. Something like what Justin did for McDonalds. Or Eminem. It would be effortless for you."

Beca sighed. Yeah, she could do that. It would be easy money.

"What else?"

"Jason Moore is directing a new film. They were asking for a new song to tie in.."

"That sounds interesting. I love Avenue Q," Beca said, taking another gulp of coffee.

"It comes with a walk on part in the movie."

"What? No." She nearly spat out her coffee.

"Why not?" Luke sounded puzzled over the phone.

"No. Movies are not my thing." Beca said flatly, placing her cup of coffee down on the table.

"But doing a song is fine?" Luke said.

Beca sighed, rubbing her temples again. She did not answer.

"Babe, just think about it, ok?" Luke said softly. "At least I can tell Nate you are trying to get out there. He'll give you space to work on the music if you say yes."

"Ok."

"Ok to the walk on part?"

"No, ok to me thinking about it." Beca said testily.

Luke chuckled.

"You drive a hard bargain, Becs. I'll tell Nate you are considering it. Thank you for that." Luke said, sounding chipper. "Listen, I'm on an early flight tomorrow. Do you want to have dinner tonight?"

She loved Luke. In her own way, she did. He had been good to her all these years. But she could not face him right now. Not when there was that question hanging between them. Beca's eyes fell on that velvet jewellery box and then skidded over to the thick envelope with the calligraphic A.

"I've promised Aubrey I'll go to her opening. She took so much trouble to get me to come," Beca said. "Catch you when you come back?"

There was a beat of hesitance before Luke finally replied.

"Ok. I'll call you when I touch down."

"Yeah. Do that," she answered. "Hey, have a safe flight ok?"

"I will."

* * *

_"BECA! Over here!" "BECA here! Here!"_

The flashes were popping right in her face as the door to the limo opened. Paolo held Beca's hand steady as she stepped out of the car before closing the door and cutting a pathway for her through the hordes of paparazzi on the pavement.

_"BECA here!" "Give us smile!" "One more here, Beca!"_

Beca smiled automatically, still moving, keeping close to Paolo. Sandra was flanking her right.

_"Miss Mitchell! Who are you seeing?" "Where's Luke?" "What's your favourite yogurt?"_

A few tape recorders were thrust into her face and she instinctively turned her head away, continuing her brisk pace towards the entrance.

"Back off, please." Paolo groused.

It was not until she was safely on top of the stairs that Beca turned round, smiling brightly and posed for the cameras. The Versace green lace dress was perfect on her; the jewelled green colour set off her pale skin and the cut off at the back would show an expanse of her perfect back. The popping flashes were blinding.

_"Beca, here!" "Beca, what's happening here?"_

"I'm here to support my friend, Aubrey Posen. She's a very talented artist," Beca said loudly over the din. The papparazzi had been tipped that she was going to be here. She had asked Sandra to do it discreetly. It woud be good publicity for Aubrey and Beca did not mind doing that for her.

_"What sort of artist?" "Have you posed for her?" "Beca, here!"_

"She's an old friend," Beca laughed lightly. More flashes. "Get a catalogue, guys. Aubrey Posen. She's fantastic." Beca turned her head in several directions smiling and answering a few more questions before finally saying, "Thank you, guys."

_"Beca! One more!" "Here!" _

The sound of the paparazzi swelled up and they surged forward. Beca was already turning away, heading into the entrance while Paolo stepped forward to block the surge. Sandra had gone on ahead. The door to the gallery was already open and Beca was enveloped in a swirl of arms.

"Oh my god, Beca! You came!" Aubrey was shrieking in excitement. When Beca finally extracted herself out of her arms, she could see Aubrey was almost in tears. "Thank you, Beca! For the flowers and for all this."

Beca straightened her dress, smoothing the green lace down. Aubrey had been a little over-enthusiastic in hugging her. Not an experience Beca had before. She flicked her fringe back, smiling up at the blonde.

"I couldn't miss this, Aubrey," she answered sincerely.

The blonde woman was beaming down at her now as she led her into the gallery.

" I don't know how long you can stay," Aubrey said. "Let me guide you through the installation."

Beca nodded as she followed Aubrey deeper into the gallery. A catalogue and flute of champagne was handed to her and Beca sipped it slowly, listening to Aubrey. The space was white and immaculate. Each art piece was thoughtfully curated and installed, with lighting showing them at their best advantage. There were a mix of mediums, mostly oils with a few sculptures dotted around.

She was now animatedly talking through the exhibition, pointing at a few pieces. "A lot of my earlier work are very rough. I was trying to find my style and what I am most comfortable with. But I can't leave them out from this. They are all a part of my journey..."

Yes, Beca could understand that. She stood in awe, looking at the pieces before her. Who would have though Aubrey had it in her? She was half listening to Aubrey explaining her concept but there was no need for that. Even with her untrained eye, Beca could see the transition in Aubrey's work - from the earlier darker, amateurish, painfully withdrawn pieces to a more refined, freer style in her later work. It was almost like she was exorcising her demons.

"Then there was this amazing idea that I had..." Aubrey was still talking when she was interrupted by one of the gallery staff, who whispered to her. "Oh. Ok. Beca, I have to go. Are you ok by yourself for a few minutes?"

"I'm fine," Beca said, not used to this solicitous Aubrey. "I shouldn't monopolise you. It's your night."

Aubrey apologised again before hurrying off, leaving Beca with a fresh flute of champagne. Beca walked round the gallery slowly, looking at each piece again. She was half aware of the hushed whispers floating round her, the covert stares and the open ogling. She was used to all of that now.

She circled round the room again and came back to the one piece.

Beca stood in front of the large canvas, taking in the artwork. It was a study of cool blues, greys, whites and black. A close up of a woman's face was placed in a left hand corner of the canvas; so skilfully painted it almost look like a photograph. She had her eyes closed with the tiniest hint of a smile at the corner of her mouth. Beca wasn't sure whether she was sleeping, meditating or thinking. But what caught her attention was the exuberance of the woman's dark hair, spilling out to the rest of the canvas.

When Beca moved her head, the hair seemed to shimmer and dance. She leant forward, looking closer and shook her head in disbelief. The hair was made up with hundreds, perhaps thousands of tiny musical notes in a mixture of medium to make that river of hair alive. Beca nearly ran her fingers over the notes, wondering whether they sing out a song or whether they were just placed at random. She ran her eyes trying to follow the notes; thinking perhaps she recognise a tune but then it changed to another. Beca was fascinated. She could look at this painting for hours.

"Does that remind you of anyone?"

She knew this was coming. She knew this would happened.

But it still took her a moment to quell down that fluttering in her tummy.

Beca fixed a smile on her lips before turning round. He was standing just behind her, trademark smile on his face.

"Jesse."

He merely nodded, taking a step forward to stand beside her and looked at the canvas. They both stood in silence, looking at the canvas. Beca was a little glad about that. She could focus on the canvas instead of the man who was standing beside him. She was lost in that potrait again when he finally spoke up.

"How have you been, Beca?"

It came out like a polite murmur and Beca frowned

"Good," she murmured back equally polite. "How about you?"

"Good."

That silence between them was uncomfortable; almost excruciating. Beca took another sip of her champagne for something to do. Sandra came up to her left.

"Beca, call for you. It's Clara."

Beca nodded, taking the phone. She could excuse herself now. She could smile apologetically at him, motion to her phone and then walk away, perhaps slip away after the call and then that would be the end of it. It could be a graceful way to end this rather uncomfortable meeting. She could take the call, find Aubrey later to say congrats and she could be on her way. Coming tonight was a big mistake.

She was at the edge of doing that when Jesse took her champagne flute out of her hand, softly saying, "Here, let me hold that for you." His fingers brushed against hers for a moment.

Beca nodded dumbly, releasing the glass.

"Clara, yeah it's me." Beca spoke for a few minutes before ending the call. He was still standing there with both glasses in his hands, waiting. Beca managed a small smile, taking the drink from him and handing over her phone to Sandra who was hovering nearby.

He had a little smile of disbelief on his face.

"Wow, you've got people to man your phone?"

She was not sure whether that was said in jest or he was trying to be rude.

"Why? Don't you?" Beca answered back in a bored tone, tossing her fringe again.

He threw his head back and laughed. Beca was a little startled at the sound of his laugh. She had not heard it for a long time. And it felt like the warmest thing on the planet. Like warm hot chocolate. She stared at the sight of Jesse Swanson laughing, a little lost at how he looked. He looked great. A little tanned, hair a touch long but he was still the same. Ok, more mature in the face, of course. More grown up but he was still the same Jesse Swanson

He had stopped laughing now, his lips curving into a smile. His eyes were twinkling.

"You cut your hair."

She consciously ran her hair through her short crop and tossed her long fringe. She forgot this look was new. She had gone through so many looks and Beca was sure she did not look the same as the last time Jesse saw her.

"Why didn't you tell me you moved to LA?"

Was her voice a little sharp? Beca did not care. It was a valid question. True, they lost touch and they had grown apart but they had grown up together, for goodness sake. She now realised she felt a little hurt that Jesse did not look her up, much less tell her before that he movrf to LA.

All trace of laughter was gone on his face. Beca watched as his expression drew in; closing off and again, that was unfamiliar. She had never seen that look before.

"I didn't plan to be in LA. It just happened," Jesse said slowly. He was looking away from her, almost like he was thinking his answer through.

Oh.

He had an almost pinched look on his face before continuing. "I did thought about calling, Becs but I didn't want to intrude."

Beca waved his excuses away.

"I can't believe you said that, Jess," Beca scolded him, frowning up at him. She had a scowl on her face now. "Of course you can call me anytime. You know that."

He shrugged.

"It was hard getting through to you," he replied, a trace reproachfully. "We all tried getting in touch, Becs. But we can't get you. Your phone number's changed. No one had your latest."

Beca thought that through.

"I'm sorry," Beca answered, sounding contrite. "I did changed my numbers a lot. All that phone hacking scandal, you know."

Jesse nodded, now turning back to gaze at the canvas.

"Do you like it?" he asked, gesturing to the art piece before them.

"It's beautiful," Beca answered, looking at the painting again. "So intricate. I didn't know Aubrey's so talented."

"It's great that you turn up tonight. You must have a million other stuff to do," Jesse said, eyes still on the painting. "It means a lot to Aubrey that you are here, you know."

"She caught me. I didn't even know all about this before yesterday," Beca said. _I didn't even know about you, _she wanted to add.

"Didn't you read the catalogue? She dedicated the whole exhibition to you."

Beca frowned as she flipped the catalogue over with one hand. Right in the inside cover was a brief dedication from Aubrey. It was true what Jesse said. Aubrey had gone as far as calling Beca her muse, her inspiration to chase her dreams, that she wouldn't be here without her.

"Wow. That is... that is something," Beca said, shaking her head, reading the dedication again. "I didn't do anything. I don't.. I don't deserve any of this..."

"Sometimes, you forgot, Becs," Jesse murmured softly. "You forgot how much you affect...us. Umm.. all of us."

She gulped a little, not daring to look at him. No, she couldn't look at him.

"So you've been in touch with Aubrey all this time?" Beca asked, taking another sip of her champagne.

"She got in touch last year," Jesse said. "Came out of the blue. She was curating an exhibition in London and we met up for coffee."

"That's nice," Beca answered blandly.

Another spell of silence as both of them gazed at the painting.

"So. Besides your phone nanny, who did you come with?" Jesse said. "Where's Luke?"

"That's Sandra, my PA. Luke's away," Beca answered, glancing at him. "How about you?"

"Jesse."

He was about to answer when they heard his name being called. Beca was about to turn towards the voice but then she stopped, gazing straight at Jesse. Because he was already looking at the direction of the voice, a beautiful smile stealing across his face. His eyes were softening in a way she had seen before. All those years ago.

But he was not looking at her with those eyes.

Beca froze.

A stunning woman, long dark honey hair in curls, in a pretty flowery dress was walking towards them. She slipped easily to his side and his arm fell automatically across her shoulder, pulling her closer. Both of them smiling, eyes only for each other, in a world of their own and for a moment, Beca felt like an intruder.

She instinctively took a step back and her slight movement seemed to shake both of them back into the room. The woman was looking at her, delight etched on her face. She looked like she was about to squeal.

"Beca. You are Beca Mitchell," The woman was now saying, a little excitedly.

English. Beca recognised the accent.

"Hello." Beca replied, fixing a smile on her face. "I'm afraid you have the better of me..."

Jesse seemed to rouse himself and a faint flush came to his cheeks.

"Oh. Umm...yes, sorry," Jesse said, sounding a little flustered. "Umm.. Emily, you know Beca. Beca..umm... this is my girlfriend, Emily."

* * *

**AN :** _So hard. This chapter was so hard to write. Harder than my last chapter of Birthdays because the breakdown in their relationship is so sad. I am so sorry Beca sounded like a bitch in the last chapter. Without her friends to ground her, she had hardened somewhat over the years. She had changed. And so did Jesse. Do you think they can find each other again? Do you think Jesse can fall in love with this Beca?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

"Emily, lovely to meet you."

Beca shook her hand, smiling warmly at her. Emily took her hand and pumped it enthusiastically.

"I am such a fan!" Emily was now saying. " Oh my god, I queued for hours to get into your gig in London. In London rain, which is a big thing. You're so big in the UK. Isn't she, Jesse?"

Jesse was chuckling quietly, looking at Emily adoringly.

"How are you enjoying LA?" Beca asked politely, keeping her eyes firmly on Emily. _She's such a pretty girl _\- Beca thought - _what with all that lovely hair and sunshine smile_. "I heard you've been here three months?"

"Jesse came out ahead to sort out the apartment and his job. I just came out last month. LA is amazing! The weather, the people," Emily gushed. "I love London, don't get me wrong. But it is so grey all the time. And the industry here is just so much bigger. So much more opportunities!"

"Emily's an actress," Jesse said in way of explanation. "We met at Pinewood _Studios._ She was a lowly production assistant then, of course, and had to do everything I told her to." Emily was scrunching up her nose at him at his description of her being a lowly assistant and Jesse laughed at her cute expression. It was obviously this was a standing joke between them.

"What are you working on now?" Beca tried keeping up her end of the conversation.

"Looking at a few options at the moment," Emily said brightly. "Honestly, I am just overwhelmed with everything. So much to take in. That job offer for Jesse came out out of the blue, I always wanted to come out here and we thought, Why not?"

"Sounds like everything falling into place." Beca said, taking another sip of her champagne. She hoped she didn't sound fake.

"Yes, it's great!" Emily smiled. Her arm was round Jesse's waist and her green eyes were shining as she looked up at Jesse with a mock scowl, "You wanted to go to New York at first, didn't you? Can you believe it, Beca? Jesse didn't want to come to LA. What with all the jobs he could get here, he didn't want to come to LA."

_Of course, he didn't. _

"Yeah. Jesse's always been a weirdo," Beca laughed lightly. "We should hang out sometime. You have to meet Luke. He's from London too. He'll never admit it but sometimes I think he missed talking proper English."

"That would be really good," Emily replied. Her smile widened again as she leant in conspiratorially. "Is it true you and Jesse grew up together? Jesse mentioned you went to the same school, together with Aubrey. You have to tell me how Jesse was when he's little."

_Was that all she was to him? Someone he went to school with?_

"Sure. Why not? I've got plenty of stories," Beca said, still keeping her eyes on Emily. Her cheeks were hurting yet again from all this smiling. "I'll get Sandra to give you my number. Call me anytime you wanna hang."

Beca was already turning away, trying to look for Sandra when she backed straight into Aubrey.

"You are still here! Thank goodness!" Aubrey caught hold of her elbow as Beca tried to regain her balance. Aubrey caught sight of Jesse and Emily and said cheerfully,"Oh hey, you guys met. Aren't you glad you stayed a while longer now, Jesse? If you had left just now, you would have missed Beca."

_Really? He was trying to avoid meeting her?_

At least he had the decency to look a little guilty at that. It was a little uncomfortable for a moment. Beca then cleared her throat and gestured at the canvas of the woman in front of them, "Aubrey, this painting is fantastic! I love it. You've got to let me buy it."

"Oh." Aubrey's mouth twisted a little as she leant down to look at the little card below the painting. "I'm so sorry, Beca. It's already sold. Someone should have stick a red dot on this." She quickly pulled a sheet of stickers out of her pocket and placed a dot on the placard.

Beca stared at the painting again, feeling a little disappointed. "That's a shame. I don't suppose you could tell me who the buyer is? Or perhaps make an offer on my behalf?"

"No. I can't do that," Aubrey replied, straightening up. She looked genuinely upset having to disappoint Beca. "I don't think the buyer would accept any offers. It was already sold before I finished it. I could try and do you another one. It would take at least six months..."

Beca shook her head, thinking.

"I have a better idea," Beca said. "Always wanted a portrait. Can I commission you to paint me one?"

"You want to sit for me? Really?" Aubrey's voice was a high pitched squeak. At Beca's nod, Aubrey pounced on her, clutching her tight. "Oh my god, Beca! Thank you! Best day ever! Half of my pieces sold tonight and now you said you'll sit for me."

"All the reason to celebrate," Beca said, laughing a little. "Where are you going for your after party?"

"After party?"

Seeing the blank look on Aubrey's place, Beca then took charge. Sandra was by her side as soon as Beca turned to look for her. "Call Clara. Ask whether we can have a private cabana," Beca said. Sandra was nodding, already dialling the number. "Failing which, a roped off area is fine. Bring out the usual." Sandra was already speaking into her phone. _"Clara? Hey it's Sandra..."_ She stepped away to continue the call as Beca turned back to the group.

"Guess we are going to the Spider Club to celebrate your success, Aubrey."

* * *

**At the Spider Club**

"Babeeeeee, you made it!"

Clara Wayland threw her arms round the tiny brunette, almost toppling her. Beca laughed as she held on for dear life as Clara hugged her tight. The blonde bombshell finally broke the hug and gazed fondly at Beca. "Are you ok? Got everything you need?"

"Yeah. Thanks for doing this last minute for me, Clara," Beca said. "We are celebrating."

Beca waved her arm over the party now going on behind her. They had moved on to the Spider Club once the exhibition closed; all of the gallery staff and Aubrey's invited guests. Clara had pulled the stops for Beca; immediate entry for all guests bypassing the snaking queue and the flashing papparazzi outside and champagne on ice on arrival.

"Anything for you, bae," Clara said.

"Come on, I'll introduce you," Beca said, pulling Clara closer to the group now sitting down on the plush seats. She tried to introduce Clara to everyone as best as she could above the din. Beca had met Clara years ago when she was doing gigs in the smaller venues and the pair had hit it off. Besides Luke, Beca would count her as one of her closest friends.

"Here's Aubrey." Beca said and Aubrey waved merrily at Clara. She hiccuped a little, grinning as she sipped her champagne. "She's the reason we are here." Beca forgot a few names as she moved down introducing everyone but they were kind enough to say 'hey' to Clara and introduced themselves.

And when she came to the end of the couch - "... Jesse, Clara. Clara, Jesse..." Beca said

"Oh hey... Jesse..." Clara said, smiling charmingly, shaking Jesse's hand. Jesse was smiling up at Clara, saying something polite. Beca saw that slight tilt of her eyebrow as Clara looked at her questioningly.

"... and this is Emily, Jesse's girlfriend. Emily, say hey to Clara."

Clara automatically shook Emily's hand, complimenting her dress.

"Guys, enjoy yourselves! Beca said she's footing the bill so make sure you drink up," Clara said, linking her hand through Beca and pulling her backwards. "Just shout if you need anything. I just have to borrow this lady for a minute."

Clara was pulling her towards the bar and once they were out of earshot -

"Jesse?!" Clara nearly deafened Beca with that shriek so near her ear.

"Whoa, Clara! These are my money maker!" Beca said, ducking away. Clara looked a little mollified.

"Is that THE Jesse Swanson? It had to be. You showed me photos before," Clara said, a few decibels lower. "What the hell is he doing here? Why didn't you tell me? What the heck, Beca?"

"I didn't know," Beca said. "Just met him today."

"That's his girlfriend?" Clara said.

"Yeah it is," Beca replied. She desperately need a drink now.

"You ok?" Clara said, squinting at Beca. She was perhaps the only few who knew about Jesse Swanson and where he stood in Beca's life. Beca was already downing a shot, not even bothering to answer Clara's question.

"Whose's playing tonight?" Beca said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Dan."

"Dan's good," Beca nodded. "Do you think he'll mind..."

"Hell no!" Clara said. She was now busy texting Dan who was spinning the decks on the small stage. They watched as Dan took out his phone and read the text. A minute later, the answering text came back. "You want to go now? Dan's ready when you are."

Beca glanced back at the merry group. Aubrey was laughing, animatedly talking to a tall guy she introduced as her fiance during the exhibition. He was a nice chap. Some of the old school peeps, more than half she didn't even remember their names, had came up and talked to her like a long lost friend. Beca was sure they didn't even speak to her during high school. And Emily was now on Jesse's lap, making him drink out of her glass and both of them laughing, so into each other.

"No time like the present."

* * *

Beca pushed the door outwards and stepped into the alley outside. Once the cool air hit her face and the door swung shut behind her, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The thumping bass from the club was now a muted beat and standing alone in this quiet alley, Beca felt a little better. She opened her clutch, fished around for a cigarette and with practised ease, Beca lit it up and took a deep pull. The smoke hit her lungs and for a moment, she felt a little dizzy. That moment soon passed and Beca took another pull, leaning against the wall.

She just had to step out for a moment.

That set just now had been sick. Normally she wouldn't dream on being in another DJ's booth, cramping their game and messing their decks. But it was Dan's and he was cool with it. And God knows, how much she needed that. It did not matter whether she had a shit day, or a shit week or a shit month. Once she was in front of the decks, spinning it live, it did not matter. She was the boss bitch of that universe and like a queen she was, she got it handled.

A layer of _Lady Marmalade_, mashed with Envogue _Free your mind_ with that _Dirrty _hook from Christina Anguilera, she had them eating out of her hand. The crowd had whooped and cheered and jumped, hers for the rest of the set. And she had felt the usual rush of adrenaline; that high that came from the music and the cheers. It had kept her going for a while but now she felt tired.

Tired and somewhat upset.

_Why the hell am I upset?_

Beca tossed the cigarette butt onto the ground and took a sip form the bottle of water she had with her. She would have preferred something stronger but she had stupidly offered this afterparty for Aubrey and like it or not, she was the host. It would just be bad form if she got thrashed.

It was also too hot inside.

Yeah.

And all that champagne and shots she took just now was getting to her head.

Yeah, that was it. That was why she was feeling sick and slightly tearful. Or she might coming down with something. That might explain this uncomfortable knot she felt in her belly ever since she turned up at the gallery.

It had nothing to do with seeing Jesse Swanson at all.

Nope. Not at all.

Why should it be?

They had not seen each other for so long. She had been polite. He had been equally polite. There was nothing to it. Except Beca could not shake the feeling that he did not really want to see her.

This was all such a mistake.

Beca lit another cigarette. She'll finish this one, go back inside and say goodbye to everyone. She had done her bit for Aubrey and really, she should head home now. If she text Paolo now, she would be home in about half an hour.

The door beside her opened with a loud crack. Beca nearly jumped. Hell, that was loud. The door swung out towards her and she could hear the pumping music and the lights spilling out before she saw who opened the door. The last person she wanted to see. Jesse was standing there, one hand holding a beer and one hand holding the door, staring at her.

There was a beat of uncomfortable silence before he found his voice.

"Hey. Didn't know you were here."

Beca nodded, pulling on her cigarette for the last time before tossing it on the ground and grounding it with her foot. She straightened up, tossing her fringe back. "Just leaving. Keep that the door open, will you?"

Jesse let the door fell shut.

_Great. What was that supposed to mean? _

Beca scowled up at him. The alley was only lit by a weak strip light and he was standing with the light behind him. She could not quite read his face in the half shadow but Beca could not miss that grim line of his mouth and the way his jaw was clenching.

"What's the matter, Beca? Can you not stay two minutes in my company?"

_What? What the hell?_

"I don't know what you mean," Beca said, matching his cold tone.

"We hardly spoke since just now."

Beca raised an eyebrow.

"I think you'll find we hardly spoke since the last three years."

_Eat that Swanson. Don't you dare give me attitude._

Beca drew to her full height, head held high and moved past him. Except his hand had shot out and he held on to her arm. Beca jerked her arm away, looking up at him furiously. His eyes glittered in the half light.

"Can't quite stay, could you? You have to run off."

His voice was flat and emotionless. And Beca felt like slapping him.

"I have not been running. I've always been here." Her voice was calm as she looked him squarely in the eye. "Maybe it's you who is trying to avoid me."

She might as well slapped him. What with that pained look that came to his face.

"No one could get to you," Jesse said slowly. His voice was still hard.

Beca huffed out impatiently. "Get to the point, Jesse. What are you trying to say? I don't have time to stand around here, exchanging small talk with you."

"We all tried to get in touch with you. No one could got through," Jesse said, through gritted teeth.

"Well, you must have not tried very hard then," Beca answered back. She was seething now. "From what I can see, you don't even want to get in touch."

He was silent and she was just starting.

"Three months? In LA? And I have to hear from Aubrey?" Beca raged at him. "And I only found out yesterday. You wanted to leave early just now? So you won't need see me?"

"How am I supposed to know whether you wanted to see me?" Jesse shot back. "We've not seen each other in three years. The only time I saw you were in the magazines. You didn't even look me up when you had your UK tour."

"It was a tour! I had like two days max to myself!"

"When was the last time you came home?"

"My home is here in LA."

"Yeah, with Luke."

"What does Luke has to do with this?" Beca yelled. He was being infuriating.

"Everything."

"You are not making any sense."

She was trying to sidestep him again but Jesse was not letting her past. Damn him! Why did this alley had to be so small? Why did he have to loom large like that, blocking her way?

"Not feeling so brave without your people, huh?"

"Don't try me, Jesse. I can still beat you up," Beca growled. "I don't need my people for that."

Jesse snorted, walking into her space. She had to step back. He was far too close.

"What are you doing?" Beca said.

"I'm not afraid. You can impressed everyone with your big star status inside there. Throwing parties like no tomorrow, ordering people around. But you are still just Beca Mitchell to me."

"Oh am I?" Beca said, raising her voice. "Just Beca Mitchell. Just Beca whom you _just_ went to school with?"

Jesse did not answer her.

"Thanks for that," Beca said. "Glad to know I mattered so little."

"Stop that!" Jesse said sharply.

"Stop what?"

"Stop being such a queen bitch!" Jesse was now hotly saying. "Don't even pretend like you care about your old friends. You were too busy being a mega star all these years, Becs. Did you know Donald had a motorcycle accident and was nearly paralysed? Did you know Benji got married and is now divorced? Did you even know Chloe's mom passed away last year?"

That shut her up.

But Beca was not done being mad.

"Fuck you, Jesse."

She pushed past him and walked a few steps towards the front. Then she heard it. That unmistakable babble of voice. Hurried steps rushing towards the alley. She knew she had just a few minutes before flashes would popped in front of her face, cameras clicking. No, no, no. She could not be caught fighting in an alley with an ex-boyfriend. Especially when said ex-boyfriend's girlfriend was inside the club. The pap who was at the club's entrance was probably alerted to her loud fight with Jesse just now.

Beca quickly wheeled round and rushed past Jesse. This time, she locked her hand on his wrist pulling him along.

"Beca, what -" Jesse was trying to pull his wrist away but her grasp was like iron.

"Shut up!" Beca roared. She pulled him deeper into the shadows, towards the back. "The pap's here. We need to get out."

"Why don't we just go back inside?" Jesse said, finally jerking his wrist free. He looked back at the door they came out from just now.

"The door only opens outwards, you idiot! Why do you think I asked you to hold it just now?" Beca whispered fiercely. "The pap is going to get a picture of both of us fighting in this alley. How would that look like in the papers tomorrow?"

Jesse looked over his shoulder and turned back to her.

"Fuck."

"Yeah. Fuck balls," Beca agreed. She took his wrist and yanked him further up the alley. This time he did not resist.

"Where - " Jesse said, sounding dazed.

"No time!" Beca hissed.

They reached a dark recess and Beca pressed herself into the nook, pulling him close.

"Becs, what are you do - "

"Just cover me, ok?" Beca said. She peered round the corner. They were deep enough in that alley and it was nearly pitch dark here. They will not be spotted. He just need to stand in front of her like this, covering her from sight. If they couldn't find her, the pap will think it was some false alarm and would melt away. Jesse was trying to pull away and Beca held on tight to the front of his jacket, jerking him forward. He nearly fell on top of her.

"Beca - "

"Cover me! If they can't see me, it's fine," Beca said hurriedly. "They think we just some couple making out. Kissing... mpppff-"

He was kissing her.

It was the most surreal moment.

Beca was aware that Jesse's lips were moving softly over hers. He had one hand behind her neck and her hands were still clutching his jacket. Yet Beca could only focus on the most mundane things. She thought how smooth his jacket felt between her fingers. And that he still smelled the same. Probably still using the same cologne since high school. God, he needed to get that changed. He had been wearing the same scent since he was what? Fifteen? Maybe she should give him perfume on his birthday?

How long was this kiss?

Have the pap gone away now?

Then she felt his hand trailing up her bare back and his warm touch jolted her out of the moment. Beca shoved him away. "What the hell, Jesse?!"

"What?" He sounded rather dazed.

"What was that for?" Beca whisper-yelled.

"You said to kiss you." He was shaking his head slowly, like he was trying to gain back some coherent thought.

"I said to cover me!" Beca said. She peered round the corner. The coast looked clear now. Beca pushed past him and Jesse let her go.

"I swear you said kiss." Jesse croaked out. "God, what have I done?"

"Don't freak out on me, Swanson. It was just a kiss." Beca just waved her arm dismissively at him and walked toward a fixed metal ladder at the side of the building.

"We can't go out that way now. They might still be waiting." Beca turned around. He was standing behind her, looking a little shell-shocked. Beca stuffed her clutch into one of Jesse's pockets before bending down to take off her high heels. She clipped them together and slung the pair of shoes over her shoulder. "We have to climb up this way."

"Umm.. Becs.. We are going up to the roof?" Jesse said, sounding unsure. Beca was already climbing the ladder.

"Come on!" Beca said, jerking her head upwards. Jesse got onto the ladder below her. Beca stopped and glared down at him. "Don't you dare look up my skirt!"

Jesse suddenly grinned up at her.

"Nothing I've not seen."

He got a well-aimed kick at his head and Jesse chuckled a little, ducking away.

She climbed so quickly that when Jesse reached the top rung, Beca was already holding out her hands to help him climb over. He staggered over, trying hard not to laugh. He landed quite heavily and had to clutch at her shoulders to stay upright. She nearly fell backwards.

"You. Are. An. Idiot," Beca said, steadying herself by holding on to his forearms.

"Me?" Jesse said. "I'm not the one running away from paparazzi and going up ladders to the roof."

"I said cover me just now!" Beca said, throwing a churlish glance at him.

"I'm sure you said kiss." Jesse said, frowning. He then stuck out his tongue and began to claw at it with his fingers. "Ughhh Becs! You tasted like an ashtray. Why did you start smoking?"

"There was no tongue just now. I didn't open my mouth. How could you have tasted that?" Beca was crossly pulling him forward by his belt. Her hands searched for her clutch she stuffed in one of his pockets.

"Oh, believe me. There was tongue."

He was smiling far too cheekily. What the hell? They were fighting just now and now he was just standing there, grinning at her? Beca glared at him as she took out her phone and dialled a number.

"Clara? Babe, I'm on the roof. Yeah. Help."

Beca ended the call and walked swiftly towards a door. Jesse just moseyed up to her, still grinning like an idiot.

"What are you smiling at?" Beca said sharply.

"Nothing."

"Stop smiling then."

He was staring down at her, that stupid smile still on his lip.

"When was the last time we did something stupid like this?" Jesse said.

Beca opened her mouth to say something snarky when she saw that light in his eyes. That cheeky twinkle that reminded her of all the fun times and escapades they had. The time when they tried to sneak beers out of the fridge to drink at their spot. The time when they had climbed up to his roof to retrieve a frisbee and he nearly fell. The times they spent at Chloe's swinging from a branch to splash into the creek. The food fight with flour when they tried to bake a cake. The water fights during summer with super soakers.

"Too long." Beca answered, smiling up at him.

"Are we done fighting now?" Jesse said softly.

"You're the one who picked a fight," Beca said. "I'm still mad at you."

He shrugged. "You are always mad at me."

"Not all the time."

"No," Jesse said, half smiling. "Not all the time."

He was moving fractionally forward when the door banged open. They both jumped apart. Clara was standing at the doorway, looking at both of them in turn.

"Thank god," Beca said, recovering quickly. She moved forward and Clara stepped back letting her in. "Sorry I had to pull you away, babe. I knew you were in your office."

Clara was just ogling at both of them as they made their way past her. She closed the door behind them.

"It's fine," she said. "Pap?"

"Yep."

"What were you both doing in the alley?" Clara asked, lifting one eyebrow.

"Fighting." Beca said in clipped tone, clearly telling Clara to drop it. Jesse was just looking slightly sheepish and they made their way back into the club. Clara glanced back at both of them.

"You might want to put on your shoes," Clara said blandly to Beca. She took a closer look at Jesse. "And you might want to wipe that lipstick off your mouth."

Both of them looked a little guilty. Jesse was roughly wiping his mouth with the back of his hands while Beca put on her shoes and straightened her dress. They were in the club now and Clara handed them both a bottle of beer before they headed to the roped of VIP section.

"Jesse! Baby, where've you been?" Emily launched herself into Jesse's arms as soon as he was in sight. "You were gone so lonnnnggg. I think I met Katy Sperry..."

"Hey babe," Jesse murmured, holding Emily upright. She was giggling, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I said hi to Arnold Schwaazz.. Schbebwazz...," Emily said. "You know that robot from the future..."

"How many have you had to drink?" Jesse said, peering into her face. "I think we should head home now, baby."

"Nooooooo... I am having fun!" Emily said, sounding horrified. "We don't have this much fun at home."

"Let's say our goodbyes, ok? We'll come back another time." Jesse tried to reason with her.

"Ok," Emily said in a small voice. She spied Beca standing behind Jesse. "Becaaaaa, Jesse's bringing me home. I don't wanna but he's bringing me home."

"OK," Beca said. "Call me if you want to hang out."

Emily was trying to offer her hand to shake but she toppled a little into Beca. Beca quickly propped her up. Emily was giggling into her ear.

"Jesse's lovely. He's so nice. So many girls in da club looking at him and he's going home with me," Emily was saying drunkenly into Beca's ear. "He's going to get lucky tonight. I'm so horny and he's really good in bed."

"That's nice, Emily." Beca said, trying hard not to breath in the alcoholic fumes coming out of Emily's mouth. Mercifully, Jesse drew Emily away, looking apologetically at Beca.

"Time to get home now." he said cheerily.

"I love you, babeee," Emily said, turning round and now latching on his lips.

"Love you too," Jesse murmured, holding the drunk girl steady. "We have to go home now, Emily. See you later, Becs."

Jesse looked up at Beca to say his goodbyes but Beca Mitchell had already turned away.

* * *

**The next day, late afternoon**

**"**Well, aren't you going to tell me what happened?"

Beca rubbed her temples, clutching her coffee mug closer. She was expecting this call from Clara. After all, she had refused to say anything last night, went on to do another set before coming straight home, bone tired and slightly drunk. It was only expected that Clara called her now and gave her the third degree.

"There's nothing to tell," Beca mumbled, taking another fortifying sip of coffee.

"Nothing? Nothing?" Clara's voice went higher. "But the alley? And the lipstick? All over his mouth?"

"It was a stupid mistake. He misheard me."

"But the leaning?" Clara nearly squealed. "My timing sucks! I opened the door and both of you were definitely leaning."

"Don't make up something out of nothing, babe," Beca warned. "Besides, he's with that English girl. They are in love. Anyone can see that."

Clara just snorted down the line.

"We were fighting in the alley, you know," Beca continued. "He called me a bitch and a sucky friend."

Clara hissed, "That's not true! You are a fab friend!"

Beca laughed, "And that bitchy bit?"

"That is a..little true," Clara conceded. "But this is Hollywood. It's like body armour!"

"You are ridiculous," Beca said. She thought about what Jesse said last night. "Babe, I gotta go. Got a few phone calls to make."

"Ok, keep me updated."

"There's nothing to update," Beca bellowed exasperatedly down the line. She was only answered with a long laugh before Clara ended the call.

Beca sat there for a long moment, thinking. She gave out a sigh, placing her coffee mug on the table beside her before scrolling through her contacts. There were so many. She needed to tell Sandra to prune this down a little.

Beca found the number and she hesitated for a moment before pressing 'call'. The line rang and Beca hoped the number was still correct.

"Hello?"

Beca felt a pinprick of tears at the corner of her eye at the familiar voice.

"Chloe? It's Beca."

* * *

**Two weeks later**

"Beca, huge package for you."

Beca frowned at Sandra's voice coming out from the speaker phone. She was in her office, sitting across from Luke. They were seated on the couch, her legs stretched on his knee as they worked through the contract for that song she was going to write for Jason Moore's new film.

"Leave it downstairs. I'll come down later," Beca said.

"I think you want to see it now." came the reply.

Luke was looking quizzically at her.

"What did you buy?" he asked.

"Nothing." Beca said, puzzled. She swung her legs off his lap and stood up. Luke came up behind her and they walked out of the office and headed downstairs.

Beca looked baffled at the sight of two deliverymen in her foyer, carrying a huge wooden crate between them. Sandra was standing by the door and she looked up at Beca, coming down the stairs.

The deliverymen were now busy opening the crate with a crowbar and when the cover was taken off, there were a thick white sheet covering whatever was inside. They released the item and gingerly take it out of the cratee. Beca stood rooted on the steps and Luke stopped beside her.

"We can install it, if you like, ma'am." One of the men was saying to Sandra. "Just tell us where and we get the tools from the van."

Sandra was looking up at Beca for instructions.

"Take it out of the sheets." Beca said from the stairs. Something gripped her and she ran the rest of the way down. By the time she hit the bottom step, the men had propped the huge thing upright against a wall. With a flourish, they undid the white sheet.

Beca was standing in front of it as the sheet came down.

And she gasped.

The painting was still as beautiful as she remembered.

Beca stared gobsmacked at the canvas in front of her. Her eyes were already running all over it, her attention captured by that serene look on the woman's face, at that river of hair made up of musical notes.

_It was not for sale. The painting was not for sale. It was sold before Aubrey could even finish it. The buyer would not take any offers. _

"A card came with it." Sandra was standing by her side. Beca turned her head slightly and felt Sandra pressing a small card into her hand. She glanced at the blank envelope and slowly took out a note.

_She reminds me of you. Happy birthday._

It was unsigned. But Beca knew who sent it. Only one person would buy her a birthday gift and give it to her when it is not her birthday.

"That is some painting," Luke had descended the stairs and was looking at the canvas. "Did you buy it?"

"No. It's a present."

"Who was it from?"

Beca looked again at the canvas, slowly crumpling the card and stuffing it into her pocket.

"Nobody."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

Beca stared at the painting, now leaning against the wall in her double height entrance hall.

"Take it back."

The two delivery men looked quizzically at the tiny brunette who seemed to be in charge. This was not in the books. They usually deliver the artwork, get it signed and install it if required. No one told them what to do if the delivery was refused after it had been unpacked.

No one else said anything so one of the men, whose name tag said 'Barry' cleared his throat, "Sorry, ma'am. It's all signed for."

"No, I don't want it, " Beca said, shaking her head. "Put it back in the crate."

Barry scratched his head, looking at his colleague for inspiration. "We are not covered for returns, ma'am. I need to speak to my supervisor."

"Sandra." Beca turned to her assistant, silently asking her to fix this and Sandra immediately walked up to the two confused men. She was now speaking quietly and rapidly to Barry, head tipped close to his. Beca did not wait for what happened next. She spun on her heels, leaving the house and stepping into the porch outside. Beca plucked her phone out of her pocket and quickly dialled a number.

"Aubrey?"

"Beca!" Aubrey's voice sounded cheerful down the line. "How are you? Are you calling about your sitting? I got some dates I could come round to take some sketches. Anything that works with your schedule, of course -"

"Yes. I'm fine with whenever. Just get in touch with Sandra." Beca replied. She then took a deep breath. "I've just got a delivery. I think you might have sent it to the wrong address."

"Oh. Hmm. Let me check."

There was some papers rustling as Aubrey put her on hold. Beca was already impatiently tapping her foot.

"Do you mean your present?" Aubrey said, coming back to the phone. "No, no mistake. It was for you."

Beca rubbed her eyes. She could feel a headache coming and damn it, she left her cigarettes in her office. "It's from Jesse, isn't it?"

"Yes," Aubrey confirmed. "I was a bit surprised, to be honest. He saw it unfinished and bought it on the spot. Couldn't wait for it to be done. Didn't even want me to include it in the show. I've had a few offers for it, you know. Well above the price."

"How much?"

Aubrey named the offers.

"It was all packed to go to his place. And then just last week he asked me to send it direct to you."

Beca sighed.

"Aubrey, I'm sending it back," she said firmly.

"Oh no, no. You speak to Jesse about that," Aubrey was saying now. Beca could almost see her shaking her head vehemently. "I'm not coming in between you two."

"How am I supposed to do that? I don't even have his number."

"I'll text it to you, ok? And I'll get in touch with Sandra about those dates," Aubrey said cheerily. "I've gotta go now. Bye Beca."

Aubrey ended the call and Beca stared sourly at her phone. It buzzed a minute later with a text from Aubrey. Beca hesitated for a minute. No, she could not accept the present. What was he thinking, waltzing into her life after all these years and throwing such a lavish present at her? Could he even afford it?

She pressed the number and the call went through.

"Jesse Swanson."

God, can he not sound more like a dork?

"Take it back."

"What? Beca? Is that you?"

"Take it back, Swanson."

"Take what back? What did I say?"

Beca huffed out impatiently,"The painting."

"Hey, you've got it. It arrived ok?" Jesse sounded happy for a moment. He sounded like he was smiling. "Wait? What do you mean take it back? I don't understand. I thought you like it."

"I can't accept it," Beca replied, running her hand impatiently through her hair. "It's...it's too much."

There was an uncomfortable, shocked silence.

"It's a present. Just take it."

His voice was extremely tight.

"I'll pay for it," Beca continued stubbornly. "Aubrey told me what was the highest offer. I'll send you a cheque."

"For fuck's sake, I do not want your money." Jesse sounded like he was trying not to yell down the phone. "It's a fucking present."

"I don't want it. Either take my money or take the painting back."

"Beca..." Jesse said exasperatedly. Beca heard some noise on the background and Jesse tersely said, "Hang on a sec -" _ "I'm on the phone -"_ His voice sounded a little distant as he talked to someone else. _"No...it's.. Emily...yes, it's Beca. Em, don't..." _There was more rustling and Beca could hear Emily's voice saying something intelligible. They were both mumbling to each other and Beca was about to hang up when -

"Beca?"

Emily's voice sounded far too cheerful to her ears.

"Hey," Beca replied grudgingly. "Emily?"

"Yes, it's me! Wow, you still remember my name. How about that?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" Beca answered. Emily sounded so cheerful and happy that it was hard for Beca not to be nice. "How have you been, Emily?"

"Just call me Em," came the reply. "Jesse didn't say he's going to call you! I've been harassing him for the past two weeks to get in touch but he always finds an excuse not to. Said you might be busy."

"Just call me anytime," Beca replied. "If I'm free, we can hang out."

"How about later? In a couple of hours?"

_Oh dear God, really?_

"Umm..sure..." Beca said slowly. Jesse's voice was a mumble of "Emily, we shouldn't ..." at the background.

"Jesse's been working all morning and I am SO bored," Emily complained, ignoring Jesse completely. "It would be good to see you again. You can tell me all your embarrassing Jesse stories."

_I am a masochist. Why the hell am I doing this?_

"Yeah, why not? I have to finish off some work but come over around four. We can hang out by the pool."

Emily's answer was an excited squeal.

"Jess! She said yes! She's invited us over." Emily was excitedly talking to Jesse now. He was saying something which Beca could not make out. Emily was scoffing loudly before returning back to the phone. "Beca? Can I have your address?"

"Jesse should have it."

"Great! We'll see you round four."

"Ok."

"See you later, Beca! Hang on. Jesse want to say something. Wait, should I bring a swimming costume? We are hanging out at the pool, right? -" By the time Emily finished all her questions, Beca was feeling tired already. And by the time she passed the phone on to Jesse, Beca had already hung up.

* * *

Beca was peeling cucumbers in the kitchen when she heard the buzz at the gates. Her eyes immediately swiveled to the kitchen clock. Was it four already? Beca sighed, placing the knife down and wiping her hands at the back of her denim cut offs. They had arrived; Sandra had buzzed them in through the gates already.

"Do you want me to finish this, Miss Beca?" Jose said, asking about the cucumbers and the fruit lying on the counter.

"No, I'll come back and do it," Beca replied. She walked out of the kitchen, making her way through the dining and reception rooms towards the entrance hall. Beca was just by the doorway when she saw both of them standing just inside the door. Maria had already let them in.

Beca frowned.

Jesse had a thunderous look on his face while Emily looked a little subdued. They looked like they just had an argument. Beca quickly put on a welcoming smile before stepping into the hall.

"Hey! You guys made it!"

"Beca!" Emily literally ran over and enveloped the tiny girl in a bone crushing hug. She finally broke the hug but her hands on Beca's shoulders. Emily looked worriedly down at her. "I'm so sorry to put you in a spot. Jesse said it was a little rude of me to impose; you know, coming over like this."

Beca glanced over at Jesse who was still looking grim.

"No, it's fine. I'm glad you could come," Beca said, focussing back on Emily. "Besides, Luke's here. You guys can finally meet and umm...talk about the weather."

Emily laughed at that poor joke.

"Jesse." Beca said, nodding curtly at him.

"Beca."

Emily completely missed the terse exchange, She was busy spinning around, trying to look at everything at once. "Oh my god, Beca! Your house's beautiful! Like something out of MTV Cribs."

"I'll give you a tour later," Beca smiled. "Right now, I've got some stuff to do in the kitchen."

Emily tucked her arm round Beca like she was her bestest friend. Beca looked down at their linked arms, a little puzzled but did not remove hers. She just awkwardly led them through the house back to the kitchen. Emily's eyes nearly popped out looking at the size of the rooms and the furnishings. She then stopped at the dining room, gasping in surprise.

"You've got the painting?"

Beca turned her head towards where Emily was looking. The painting was resting against the far wall. Despite Sandra's best efforts, the deliverymen could not return it back to the gallery. Beca refused to hang it up. They had just moved to that space in the dining room which was large enough to hold the canvas and yet out of the way. Emily was staring at the painting, fascinated.

"You've managed to contact the buyer?" she asked. "Aubrey said they won't entertain anyone. Wow! You must have made them quite an offer!"

Beca resolutely kept her eyes on Emily.

"Still negotiating with the buyer," she replied blithely. "Now looking at it, I don't think it fits with the deco."

She continued walking through to the kitchen.

"You guys want a drink? Jose will get them for you." Beca waved at Jose who politely asked them what they would like as Beca walked round the counter. She picked up the knife and continued peeling the cucumber before slicing the lemon.

"You are making Pimms? Please tell me you are making Pimms!" Emily said excitedly, eyeing the jugs and the bottle next to it. She perched herself on a bar stool just opposite Beca, with a beer in her hand. Jesse stood next to her, leaning against the counter, still not saying much. He moodily sipped his Coke, watching Beca slicing an orange and popping all the fruit into the jug with some strawberries and mint.

"Yeah. Luke got some duty free," Beca said, smiling up at Emily. She glanced at the door behind Emily. "And speaking of the devil -"

"Hey babe."

Everyone turned round to be greeted by the glorious sight of Luke coming in from the patio outside. He was shirtless, wearing a blue and red striped board shorts, bronzed and blond by the sun. He must have just had a swim. A towel was round his neck and his hair was wet and slicked back, slightly curling at the ends. Luke sauntered over to the counter, smiling at everyone.

"Come and say hello to Emily." Beca beckoned. She made the proper introductions before tipping her head towards Jesse. "And you know Jesse."

Both men were looking at each other.

"Sure," Luke said after a long pause. "How's it going?"

"Good," Jesse answered. "Great to see you, Luke."

"You too," Luke said, eyes still on Jesse. He smiled briefly. "So you finally made it to LA."

"Of course," Jesse replied, not breaking eye contact. "It was only a matter of time."

Luke slowly turned to Beca who was busy stirring the jug. The liquid was sloshing round as she add more lemonade. She had an adorable look of concentration on her face, the tip of her tongue poking out of her mouth.

"Where's my drink, woman?" Luke teased, smacking Beca lightly on her bottom. "I'm dying of thirst here."

"Do that again and I'll chop off your hand," Beca muttered darkly, still busy stirring the concoction. "I want to make this right. Don't distract me."

"Can I have some fruit?" Luke asked, one hand wrapped round Beca's waist as he leaned into her.

"Here, have some cucumber," Beca said, cutting a chunk and popping it into his waiting mouth, not even looking up.

"You guys are so cute!" Emily suddenly squealed. "How long have you've been together?"

Beca pretended to be far too busy making the drink.

"Seven? Eight years?" Luke said, scratching his chin. "Was it eight, Becs?"

"Hmm?" Beca responded a little unwillingly. "Yeah. Maybe. On and off. Luke, get some ice. Who wants some Pimms?"

She concentrated on pouring out the drinks, topping them with crushed ice before offering them to everyone. Emily was downing the drink with a blissful look on her face. Luke took a sip and grinned at Beca, "Not bad, love. Not bad at all." Only Jesse was still drinking his Coke.

"Baby, try it. It's really fab," Emily wheedled, pushing the drink towards him. "It reminds me of the time when we went to Wimbledon."

"I'm good, thanks," Jesse replied, sounding a little curt.

Beca did not miss that crestfallen look on Emily's face although she did try her best to hide it.

"Let's go out to the pool." Beca said. "Come on, Em. You and Luke can carry the drinks." She handed the jugs and glasses over to them before they could say anything. Luke was leading the way through the doors, chatting to Emily and Jesse was about to follow when Beca grabbed a handful of his tshirt from the back. "Not you, mister. You stay."

She waited until Emily and Luke was already out heading towards the pool before wheeling around and glaring at Jesse. "What the hell, Jesse? Why are you being such a dickwad?"

He was standing there, looking at her mutinously.

"No idea what you're talking about,"Jesse replied blandly. This time it was him, trying to sidestep her but Beca stood her ground, arms crossed.

"Why are you being so horrid to Emily? She's trying to have a nice time," Beca said. "If you are going to behave like a jerk, you might as well stay at home! You are just ruining it."

"I wanted to stay at home. I have work to do," Jesse said, his voice on an edge. "I didn't want to come in the first place."

Beca gazed at Jesse, trying to understand what the hell was happening. The Jesse she knew was never moody or thorny like this. Even when angry, he had always been polite. This was all too confusing.

"Is this about the painting?" Beca said, trying her hardest to stay civil.

Yes. Maybe that was it. They hadn't resolved the issue about that stupid ass painting.

Jesse stared at her for a moment before turning away.

"You think this is about the painting?"

"What is it then?" Beca demanded. "Why are you being a dick?"

"I just don't want to be here." Jesse said through gritted teeth.

"Well, too bad, Jesse. You already are."

Beca's voice at a near-yell. Jesse scoffed; not answering and both of them fell silent, standing by the doorway, still glowering at each other. Beca automatically searched her pockets for her cigarettes and couldn't find any. Damn it! She really needed a smoke. Beca settled for biting her nail instead.

"You can't just appear after all this time and send me that as a present," Beca berated. "And why does Emily not know you've bought it?"

"It's not her money. I don't see why she should know," Jesse countered back. Beca could feel him staring at her. He was still mad. That she could tell.

"The painting was a mistake. It was far too big for the apartment," Jesse said slowly. "I was just trying to support Aubrey. Don't get the wrong idea."

OK. She should feel better with that explanation. He was trying to support a friend and it didn't actually worked out. So he tried palming that off to her as a present. She should feel better about that. She should. There was nothing in it. She felt like punching him.

Beca nodded. "I'll buy it off you."

Jesse was silent for a long while and then Beca heard him sighing in defeat.

"Fine. Whatever you want."

"I'll write you a cheque later, " Beca said, stepping out from the doorway to the garden outside. She had enough of this. She just wanted a drink and a cigarette.

"Beca, one more thing," Jesse was saying now. Beca stopped, frowning up at him. He was looking at her through hooded eyes, hands shoved deep in the pockets of his khaki shorts. "Just so you know, Emily doesn't know about us."

"And?"

"I'd rather she didn't," Jesse continued. "So...when you are swapping stories, please don't say anything."

Beca didn't quite know how to react to that.

"Any reason?" she said calmly.

Jesse just shrugged.

"It was a long time ago. We had like two weeks," he said. "Nothing compared to your eight years with Luke."

She shouldn't be upset. He was right. He was 100% right. But why did she feel like hitting him in the balls?

"Sure. Wasn't about to compare notes anyway," Beca replied, already turning away like she couldn't care less. "After all, I'm just Beca from school."

* * *

**A little later, at the pool**

"He looked just like a lost puppy, Beca. All wet with rain. I just took pity on him. So I brought him to the nearest pub and made sure he had something hot to drink before sending him on the right way."

Emily was giggling now and Beca smiled weakly. She was regaling Beca on how Jesse and her met.

"So you guys hit it off then?"

"No..." Emily replied, cocking her head to one side. "Gave him my number but he didn't call me. Strangely, we met in the queue for your concert about six months later. It was really bizarre. I recognized him, of course. He is quite good looking and you don't just forget a fit bloke like that."

Emily was looking fondly over to the other side of the pool where Jesse was. To his credit, Jesse had gotten out of his funk after the talking to just now and was trying to be nicer. He had quietly apologised to Emily and even tried making conversation with Luke now.

"God, did he play hard to get!" Emily exclaimed. "I was literally panting up against him but he didn't make a move. But we ran into each other again a few months later when I was working at Pinewood. By then, he was looking for a place. His lease was up and he was about to sign on another when I offered my spare bedroom. And the rest is history."

Beca could not help that chuckle coming out of her.

"So you seduced him?"

"Copious amount of wine." Emily was winking at her now. "And DVDs. So many DVDs. We both love movies. It was a match made in heaven."

_God, this girl was a hoot. And Jesse didn't stood a chance. I like her already._

"So..." Emily was now whispering. "Tell me about Jesse in school. I heard he's quite a catch. Benji was telling me all about it."

"You've met Benji?" Beca stammered, surprised.

"Yes, of course." Emily chortled lightly. "Jesse was staying with him when he first came out here. Just before we got our apartment."

Benji was in LA? Yet another thing she didn't know. She was truly a sucky friend.

"...know about Aubrey, of course. They were a thing in senior year? But other than that.."

Beca snapped back to the present. She didn't quite catch what Emily was saying. Emily was looking at her quizzically, almost expecting her to say something in reply.

"Ahem.. sorry. What did you want to know?"

"Were you guys tight?" Emily said. "He didn't really talk much about his past. I know he's on good terms with his ex-girlfriends from college. That's about it."

"I didn't know that," Beca said, processing that information. "We grew up together but lost touch after high school so I'm not too good on that part of his life. He was very annoying in school though."

Emily laughed merrily, downing her Pimms and smacking her lips.

"Oh don't worry about it. I know he's a nice, solid bloke. Was just wondering whether he has serial killer tendencies."

"No, Jesse is really the sweetest. Any girl is lucky to have him."

Beca glanced across the pool, looking for the familiar sight of him with his brown curls. He was nowhere to be found and Luke was still doing laps in the pool. Beca turned back to Emily, who was now lying on the lounger, sighing contentedly. It looked like the interrogation was over.

"Umm..I'm just going to make some more Pimms," Beca said, getting up and sweeping up the empty jugs.

She skipped lightly up the steps from the pool, walked across the grass and veranda before walking into the door leading to the kitchen. It felt cooler inside and Beca sighed gratefully. She glanced at the kitchen clock, thinking that they should think about dinner soon. Jose was still on standby if she wanted him to whip up something but maybe they could go out for dinner?

Beca rooted round the fridge for all the fruit for the Pimms, turning round and placing them on the counter. Where did Jose kept the lemonade and that bottle of Pimms again? She opened a few cupboards and unearthed the lemonade but the Pimms was still elusive. She found it on one of the higher shelves. Beca stared at the bottle just out of her reach.

Ugh. Short girl problems.

"Let me get that for you."

She whirled around and he was standing just behind her, already reaching up for the bottle. Jesse easily wrapped his hand round it and brought it down, offering it to her.

"Thanks."

Beca took it off him and turned back to the counter. She was expecting him to say something polite before making his way back to the pool but Jesse was just standing there, staring at her.

"Mind if I stay here? I could help."

Beca looked at him for a moment, thinking. He had that open, earnest look on his face. Something she had not seen for a while and Beca thawed a little.

"Sure, why not?" She shrugged. Beca took a knife and chopping board from the many drawers and placed it on the counter. "Ok, help me cut the fruit."

Jesse was smiling as he came over and stood next to her. She was busy measuring out the lemonade and Pimms into the jug as he began to slice up a lemon.

"I'm sorry about just now." Jesse said softly. "You were right. I was a dick. Thank you for hollering it out."

Beca was half listening to his apology, still concentrating on the mix.

"I don't take your shit, Swanson," she said simply, now stirring the mix and tasting it.

"No." Jesse chuckled. "No, you don't."

"Peel the cucumbers. I just want the peel or else it gets all soggy," Beca ordered.

"I'm not done chopping this," Jesse said, gesturing to the one lemon he started on just now.

"Oh my god, how slow are you," Beca grumbled, taking a vegetable peeler and starting on the cucumbers.

"I'm not a culinary genius like you." Jesse replied.

"Yeah." Beca agreed. "You only know how to buy good burritos."

"Hey, that is a gift," Jesse grinned. "Not everyone knows how to get the best burritos. That is my superpower."

"Oh. Are you telling me you've already found THE best burrito in LA?" Beca was looking at Jesse skeptically.

"Well, I don't know, Becs. There's this food truck near where I work and their stuff is pretty amazing. Everyone's going on and on about Senor Fish but I thought it was pretty... meh."

"You wash your mouth! Senor Fish is an institution! " Beca exclaimed. She was gazing at him in near horror. " Let me tell you something, slick. I've been here seven years and I have not even scratch the surface. Are you telling me you've been here three months and you've found the best burrito?"

"Remind me to buy you one next time," Jesse replied. He was looking totally unconcerned, still cutting that stupid lemon. "They do a good asada with refried beans. I'll tell them to put extra guacamole and salsa. No cheese."

Beca gaped at him. He remembered how she liked her burritos. That was a little unsettling. She went back to paring the cucumber.

"So.. Benji is in L.A?" she asked in small voice.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Should I?"

"I would have love to meet him."

Jesse was silent for a moment.

"I'll ask. He moved out here after the divorce. I think he wanted to start everything afresh."

"What happened?" Beca asked.

Jesse just shook his head.

"It's his story, Beca."

Beca nodded and continued with what she was doing. She now have long strips of cucumber peel in front of her. Jesse had moved on to the orange now.

"Is it true?" he was saying now. "Did you call Chloe?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I did."

Jesse was carefully slicing the orange.

"You are right, Jess. I am a sucky friend," Beca concurred. "I can't believe I was not there for Chloe. It must have been hard for her."

"It was."

Another beat of silence between them.

"I'm sorry."

Jesse glanced up at her. "What for?"

"For dropping out. For not keeping in touch," Beca said honestly. "I should have tried harder. It's just...it's just so hard, you know."

Jesse was staring at her face now.

"I mean.. everyone seems to have their own lives," she rambled on, trying to marshal her thoughts. "I was in and out all the time. It was just.. not the same. I just thought it was easier not to. So everyone can go on. Without me."

His stare was unnerving and Beca looked down, picking up another cucumber to peel.

"Do you know why I didn't want to come today, Becs?"

That was a strange question. And Beca was not sure she wanted to know the answer.

"I didn't want to see you."

That hurt. That fucking hurt. True they had not been in touch but that just confirmed all her worst fears. That Jesse Swanson did not want anything to do with her. That he was here under duress, to please his girlfriend. That he would rather eat hot coals than...

"That came out wrong," Jesse continued. Beca kept her eyes down, not trusting herself to look at him. She heard a small sigh. "I just didn't want to see you with him, Beca."

Him? Did he mean Luke? Jesse was muttering something underneath his breath that she could not make out. He sounded like he was swearing.

"I'm being a dick again. I'm sorry," Jesse sighed. "It's just.. seeing you and all this. And Luke. It's a lot to take. I couldn't deal years back when you asked us all out here for a week. That's why I didn't come."

_Ok. I don't know how to handle this. _

"But it's.. it's ok now. Maybe I was just making a big deal out of it." Jesse said a little weakly. He swallowed a little. "I mean, look at you. Luke obviously takes good care of you. You look happy. You have this fantastic career and all this. This great house -"

"I work hard for it," Beca answered softly. "And I gave up a lot. A lot of things I cared about."

It was unspoken between them.

Jesse finally nodded. "Yeah. I guess you did."

He had finished with the orange, took a few strawberries out of the punnet and removed the leafy calyx with the tip of the knife, before chopping in half. The mint leaves were next.

"Emily's lovely," Beca said, changing the topic. "You've got someone mad about movies, Jesse. Good score there."

Jesse laughed a little.

"And she told me how she seduced you," Beca said, trying not to smile. "Seriously, Jesse? A bit of wine and a mov... oh shit!"

The knife had slipped in his wet hand and Jesse had knick the tip of his index finger, which was now bleeding profusely.

"Here. Gimme." Beca didn't wait for an answer and she immediately grabbed his hand and sucked on the bleeding finger.

"Becs.."

She sucked hard once, popped it out and took a closer look. The suction had stopped the bleeding for a moment and she firmly put her fingers on the cut before dragging Jesse by the hand to the end of the counter.

"Here. Put some pressure on it." She ordered, bossily, handing a kitchen towel before looking inside the counter underneath and taking out a first aid box. Beca quickly opened the box and extracted an antiseptic spray and a few Band-aids.

"Honestly. Can't trust you with a knife," Beca scolded, spraying some antiseptic on his cut. Jesse yelped a little at the sting. "Shut up. It's only a little cut."

She spread the Band-aids with her free hand. "Now choose a colour."

"You have coloured Band-aids?" Jesse said, sounding amused.

"Yeah. You've got a problem with that?"

"No. Nope. Umm.. pink one, please."

"Good choice. Very manly." Beca said. She released his hand to open and wrapped the pink neon Band-aid carefully around his finger, tip of her tongue sticking out of her mouth. "There. All done."

"What? No kiss?" Jesse laughed. "It still stings."

Beca just realised how over-familiar she had been and a flush crept up her cheeks. He was staring down at her, amusement clearly on his face. Beca just huffed. She shouldn't have done that. Then her taste buds belatedly tell her another story.

"Ugh! I can still taste your blood!" Beca balked. She stuck out her tongue. "Ugh. Blood and mint! Ugh, Jesse!"

"Who ask you to suck on the cut?" Jesse chortled. "I can't believe you still do that! It's unhygienic. I might get gangrene."

Beca just scowled at him.

"Call me when the doctor chop your finger off," she said. "I can give you a finger or two."

"Somehow, I don't think you are donating your fingers," Jesse said drily. He was looking at her, his eyes dancing. "You are a weirdo, you know that."

"Yeah? You too."

Beca was about to punch him on his arm when Jesse caught her hand. He was laughing down at her, pulling her closer.

"Oh hey! You're both here!"

Emily was standing at the doorway. Beca quickly tugged her hand away. Jesse did not let go for a moment, still in a daze and then he dropped her hand. Emily was smiling as she slowly made her way over.

"Luke asked me where you guys were." Emily said breezily. She swayed a little unsteadily before plopping herself on a bar stool. "He wanted to know what we are doing for dinner."

"Oh. What would you like?" Beca answered, going back to being the perfect host. "Jose can rustled up something. Or we can order something. Maybe go out somewhere?"

Jesse was watching Emily like a hawk.

"Becs, I think we are fine for dinner," he said. "Didn't want to impose on you. Emily and I will grab something on the way home."

"No. It's fine," Beca said hurriedly. "Maybe we can order pizzas."

"Love pizza," Emily said happily.

Beca was already on the phone to Jose, making arrangements for dinner. Jesse was saying something to Emily, pushing a large glass of water at her but at the moment Jose was talking over the phone and Beca completely missed what Jesse said.

When she got off the phone, Emily was grinning at her, "Say, Beca. Can you give us the tour you were talking about just now? Love to see everything."

"Oh." Beca said, not entirely sure she wanted to. Jesse's jaw was set at a hard line now and he was about to open his mouth when Beca quickly said, "Umm. Ok. Let's start with the reception room."

* * *

"So here's my studio."

Beca opened the door and they crowded round the door. She had just shown them the rooms on the first floor, finishing up with the studio.

"Is that... is that all your Grammys?" Emily's voice was a hoarse whisper. She stepped closer, gawking at the awards on the shelves and at the platinum and gold records on the wall. "Wow."

Beca was a little embarrassed now, looking down at the floor.

"It's nothing, really," she started.

"Can I hold one?" Emily asked.

"Yeah. Sure."

Emily picked one up, a look of sheer wonder on her face. She then shut her eyes and did a comic wave before laying a hand on her chest and speaking in a pretend-choked up voice. "Thank you. Thank you everyone. I am so touched."

"You know, I do that when no one's watching too," Beca said, grinning at Emily. Emily placed the Grammy back, laughing. Emily was a hoot. She didn't understand why Jesse was not laughing along. Maybe he was just too busy looking at the kit in the room. She was right.

"Wow, Becs. Nice set-up," Jesse said.

"Jess, why don't you ask Beca whether you come over and use this?" Emily bumbled in.

Jesse looked shocked at Emily's suggestion. "No, I couldn't..."

"But you are always complaining the stuff at home is not up to scratch," Emily bulldozed on.

"Em -"

Beca waved her arm to get their attention. "That's a good idea. Anytime you want, nerd. If I'm not around, someone will let you in."

Jesse looked as if he wanted to say something. He also looked a little crossed.

"So -" Beca said, walking towards the door. They both followed her out. "That's it."

They made their way back to the reception room, passing the entrance hall and the stairs leading up to the second floor.

"What's upstairs?"

Beca looked round and Emily had one foot on the bottom step already, looking upwards.

"Errm... just bedrooms and my office." Beca said. She was not entirely certain she wanted to show them both. It seemed a little personal.

"Emily, we should head back to the kitchen," Jesse said testily. "I think the pizzas' here."

"Aww.. I wanted to see upstairs," Emily said, pouting a little. "You don't have anything to hide, right, Beca? Like a shrine to Ryan Gosling or something? Oohhh, maybe she had Zac Efron tied up in her bedroom?"

She could not hate this girl. Emily was just too funny.

"No. Nothing of that sort," Beca said smiling. She remembered the cheque she promised earlier. "Come on up."

She led the way and then just for courtesy, opened a few rooms for Emily to ooh and ahh over. Jesse merely put on a patient face. Then she flung the doors of her bedroom open.

"See? No Zac Efron," Beca laughed. "Although I wouldn't mind actually."

Emily walked in, eyes widening at the four poster bed, at the comfy couch and the dressing table. She walked further in and noticed the door, leading to the walk in wardrobe.

"That is NOT a walk-in wardrobe," she yelled. "That is a walk-in apartment! Beca, may I?"

Beca was chuckling. That girl was irrepressible.

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. It's just clothes and shoes."

Emily went on ahead while Beca stood by the doorway. Emily was squealing seeing all the Chanels, Pradas and Louis Vuittons. She squealed higher when she saw the Jimmy Choos.

"This must be worth a fortune!"

"Actually, most of them were given to me," Beca said, trying to remember.

"WHAT? You get these free?" Emily yelled from the depths of the wardrobe. "Shit! I need to get famous!"

Beca was laughing now, holding on her sides. She really liked her.

"Jesse? Your girlfriend's a comedian." Beca spun round to look for Jesse. He was standing by the side drawer near the window, his back towards her. Beca frowned at how quiet he was being. And then she remembered.

Oh shit. Shit. Triple shit in a handbasket.

She forgot about the photos.

Beca swiftly went to his side and he was staring at the photographs, all displayed in silver frames. She had them there for ages. They had became part of the furniture and she had forgotten that they were there. Pictures of Stacie, Chloe and her. One with the girls, Benji and Jesse. The photo of both of them at Disneyworld, with Mickey Mouse ears. The one his mom took before they went to prom, the one where he had his arm round her and they were smiling at each other.

"Beca?"

His voice was a little hoarse.

"I forgot they were there," Beca said. She rapidly took the Disneyworld one and the prom photo, opened a drawer and shoved it inside.

"Wha.. what are you doing?" Jesse said, sounding dazed.

"Emily." Beca hissed.

There was another photo she needed to hide.

"Hey, what's that?" Emily had came out of the wardrobe and was just behind them. "Is that a photo? Oooh let me see."

It was a little too late. Emily had grabbed the frame and stared at the photo.

"What the hell is this?"

Beca froze, unsure how to answer.

"Senior prom." Jesse finally answered.

"Wait. Both of you went to prom together?" Emily said, still staring at the photo. "You were prom dates?"

"Not.. exactly," Beca said. "Jesse didn't have a date. I was there just to make him look less pathetic."

Emily was silent.

"Why are you covered in blood? Is that really blood?"

"Carrie." Beca answered.

"What?"

"Umm.. we were superimposed on a green screen. Any prom you want," Jesse replied. "And Beca chose Carrie."

A loud guffaw came out of Emily. She looked up at both of them, back at the photo and then back again at them.

"That is the funniest shit I heard all day!" Emily laughed out loud. "Oh my god! Carrie? Really?"

"Yep." Jesse was looking a little relieved. He glanced over at Beca. "Beca always has a dark sense of humour."

* * *

**AN :**

_OK, Emily. I did thought of Emily in Friends and because I luuuuurve Emily Blunt, her too. But physically, I think she would look like Cat Deeley. She was a Saturday morning TV presenter for a kids show in the UK before going Stateside some 12-14 years ago and was really bouncy and cheesy. I don't hate her particularly. She was very funny._

_I don't know why I'm making them fight all the time. I just felt that they are still not used to each other yet. They forgot how to talk and listen to each other. Both of them are 'saying' things but the other is not listening. I hope that came through. Can you guys see it? Or am I not doing that bit right? _

_Oh, Jesse lied through his teeth at one point. Can you guess when?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

_When your legs doesn't work like it used to before  
And I can't sweep you off your feet  
Will your mouth remember the taste of my love?  
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?_

_\- Thinking Out Loud, Ed Sheeran_

* * *

Jesse tried those series of notes again, his fingers moving confidently across the keyboard. His forehead wrinkled in concentration while he replayed those notes. That sounded okay. Upbeat even. Almost jaunty? Jesse stared at the sheet music and huffed out in frustration.

No, not jaunty.

Heaven forbid the tune was jaunty. It was for a college-type comedy, for fuck's sake. It had to have attitude. It had to have punch. It had to sound 'in'.

Not fucking jaunty.

Jesse vehemently rubbed off those notes with an eraser and swept the grit aside. Days. He had been working on this for days and he could not afford to spend much longer. There were other songs he had to work on and tomorrow first thing was this meeting with the director, Jason. Jesse really wanted to have something solid to show. It was great of Jason to think of him when he was looking for someone to score his first directorial debut and Jesse did not want to disappoint.

The doorbell rang loudly. And when it continued ringing, Jesse got up and popped his head round, wondering why Emily didn't get the door. Usually she would the first to run to the door, yelling out like an excited puppy. The apartment was empty - he didn't even knew Emily had gone out. Did she say something? Perhaps she did and he was too busy to pay attention? The doorbell rang again and then someone was now knocking on the door.

"Hang on, I'm coming."

Jesse opened the door and Benji stood outside, smiling that goofy smile.

"Hey!" Jesse grinned back, making way for Benji to come into the apartment. He had food and beer. Jesse suddenly realised it was nearly two p.m and except for that cup of coffee for breakfast, he hadn't had anything to eat. His tummy rumbled at the smell of pizza and Jesse eagerly took that pizza box off Benji. "Aww man, you're a lifesaver. I'm starving."

"I thought you might be hard at work," Benji replied, moving further into the apartment. Jesse was already scoffing on a slice of pizza before they sat down. "Where's Emily?"

Jesse swallowed before replying, "Out. Not sure where." At Benji's curious look, Jesse continued. "She was talking about new head shots last night. Maybe she's out getting them. How you doing, man? How's teaching?"

"It's good. The kids are awesome." Benji replied. If he noticed Jesse's swift change of subject, he didn't comment on it. Benji sat back in his seat, stretching his legs out and popping a can of beer open.

"You've got a sweet thing going there," Jesse said, in between mouthfuls of pizza. "That job was made for you, man."

"Funding's drying up though." Benji replied, a note of worry in his voice. "If we don't get any new funding, I'm not sure how the programme gonna work out next year. I might have to look for something else."

Jesse grimaced sympathetically. He had been so pleased when Benji had gotten the job as a Drama and Music instructor for an inner-city Arts programme. It was just up his street, he deserved all the good luck after the mess of his sudden divorce and it was a fresh, new start. He had never seen Benji happier. And now this news the programme might be in danger of being shut down.

"Any chance of getting any grants? It's a lot of paperwork but might be worth a shot."

"It's just so tough everywhere," Benji sighed, rubbing one side of his face. "Everyone's scrambling for whatever they can get."

"Sorry, man."

It just sounded so hollow saying that and Jesse wished he could do more.

"We are working on something," Benji said. "I was just talking to Beca about it last night. I hate to ask her for help; especially when we just got back in touch last month. But the kids, you know. I have to try everything -"

That second slice of pizza felt a bit more difficult to swallow. Benji was still talking and Jesse was half listening as he took another bite.

"- she was cool with it, though." Benji said, smiling. "I have to thank you for giving me Beca's number, man. I can't believe it. She's still the same. I would have thought...I don't know.. Being a big star and all that -"

"She's not the same."

Jesse was concentrating hard on finishing that second slice he did not see that look of surprise on Benji's face.

"Ok, she does look different," Benji said carefully, trying to gauge Jesse's mood. "Seven years is a long time. I don't think any of us is the same."

"Yeah," Jesse agreed reluctantly. "Maybe."

* * *

**Christmas, Freshman year**

Thanksgiving sucked without Beca.

And now Christmas will suck too.

She had told him she was not coming back for Christmas . He knew that. He shouldn't be this morose; except that he missed her very much and was really looking forward to seeing her. He had so much to tell her; about college, about being a Treblemaker, about his job at the station. He was sure Beca would laugh about that "No sex on the table" rule his station manager boss had empathically spelled out on Day 1. And all a the weird acapella stuff he was still trying to get his head round. Soccer was going great although again, it was a little weird she was not cheering for him at the stands. He could have told her all this when they chatted or texted but it was just not the same.

He just missed her very, very much.

"Eat up, Jesse. Look at you, all skin and bones! What type of food are they serving to my poor baby?" Martha Swanson came over to his right and Jesse groaned a little as his mom heaped yet more food on his plate. He was at bursting point already.

"Hush! Eat up now." she said in a mock scold. "- or you won't get your presents. Beca sent you something in the post. It's under the tree."

He nearly ripped the parcel apart, so eager to see what Beca got him. He grinned as he peeled one wrapping after another; the boxes getting smaller and smaller like a set of Russian dolls. She did this every year. He finally unwrapped the last bit of sparkly paper to find a DVD of The Breakfast Club. What? He had like, two of these. Why would Beca send him yet another one?

Jesse pried the case apart and two small envelopes fell out. One contained a $100 worth of iTunes giftcard and the other, a giftcard for AMC cinemas. Jesse drew out a little note with Beca's messy scrawl

_Dude, I don't know what other DVDs you've managed to amass since I'm away so giftcard ok? Also, movies. Looking forward to you boring me to tears with your new movie fun facts. Xox - Beca_

Jesse ran his fingers over the scrawl. He could almost see her writing it, chewing the end of her pen as she thought about what she would write before hurriedly scratching the words out. She would blow on the ink but will fold the paper up anyway, always too impatient for it to dry. He could see where the ink smudged.

God, he missed her so much!

Jesse fished out his phone out of his pocket and immediately called her number without thinking. He had to call her. It was Christmas after all. She would want to know he got his present and he wanted to hear her voice. It rung and rung and Jesse tried again. Surely she should up by now?

"...'llo?"

Ok. That did not sound like her.

"Beca?"

Jesse heard a muttered sleepy curse before a gravelly "Who's this?"

He recognised that British accent anywhere.

"Hey, Luke? Jesse's here. Is Beca there?"

He sounded normal although at this moment, Jesse's chest felt a bit tight. He was also aware he was gripping his phone a lot harder than he should. Why the hell was Luke picking up Beca's phone? It was a few moments before Luke spoke up and he still sounded bleary and half asleep.

"Jesse? What time issit?"

There was a jangly sound of alarm clock falling. Luke must have reached out for it on the nightstand and knocked it straight off.

"Can I speak to Beca, please?" Jesse's voice came out civil and overly polite.

"Hmm? Oh. Hang on...she's just next to me." Luke got off the phone and Jesse heard his muffled voice trying to wake Beca up. '_Baby, wake up. It's Jesse'_ was mostly what he could hear. It didn't seem to work because Luke came back, saying in between a yawn. "She's out cold, mate. We just crashed into bed two hours ago."

"Ok."

"Call back later?"

"Yeah, ok. I'll do that."

The line was cut before he could even finish. Jesse hung up. For a long moment, he stared at Beca's scrawled note before carefully folding and tucking it back into the DVD. He didn't call back later. Nor did he ever found out that Beca did crash next to Luke on that bed, both of them fully clothed, bone tired after a late night gig.

* * *

**Finals, Freshman year**

He could hear the muffled "Help" even as he was opening the door to his dorm and Jesse knew what would greet him. Right on Benji's side of the room was the large chest with the swords sticking out. At the moment, the box was shaking a little violently while muffled cries of help came from within.

"Hang on, buddy." Jesse called out. This had happened before and after a few tries, Jesse manage to release the catch. Benji rose of the box, taking in huge gulps of air. His hand was flailing for support and Jesse helped him out. "You ok there, man?"

Benji was still panting before stuttering out. "I'm ok. I'm ok."

"Been in there long?" Jesse said, tossing his backpack on his bed.

"Long enough," Benji panted. "Good thing you came back from your date, man. I would be stuck in there all night."

Jesse frowned as he started to empty his pockets. "I wasn't out on a date. I was just studying with Carly."

"Oh."

That little 'oh' from Benji was puzzling. Even more so when Benji spoke up again. "You've been spending an awful lot of time with Carly lately. Even Chloe noticed that."

"She's in most of my classes, man. You know that." Jesse replied, looking for his shorts. He ought to have a shower. He felt a little sweaty and gross. And Benji was acting a little funny too. Maybe he had too little oxygen trapped in that box? Jesse fiddled with his phone, now only noticing his battery was flat. He plugged the charger in and within a minute, all his notifications came on. And one made his stomach flipped.

"Fuck! You guys Skyped Beca just now?"

He didn't mean to sound so harsh. It was just all these messages were just starting to come through and Jesse just realised he missed yet another chance to talk to Beca. She was always busy with her work. He was busy with college. The timings were never right. It was just a tremendous effort to even text each other regularly, let alone find time to Skype. And he fucking missed this one.

"We couldn't get through to you, man," Benji answered plaintively. "We thought you switched your phone off and didn't want to be disturbed."

Jesse wanted to curse out loud but it was no use. It was too late now. He just sat heavily on his bed, looking through his messages.

_Beca : Hey nerd, ok to Skype at 8 your time?_

_Benji : Dude, Skype B at C's room at 8_

_Chloe: Where are you? Beca's online._

And much later, another text from Chloe : _Beca says hi._

Jesse rubbed the back of his neck, already feeling far too tired and disappointed. "How is she? Was she ok?"

"Yeah. Just wanted to wish us luck for finals. She looked great. Very excited about her single," Benji answered. "She did asked where you were."

"What did you say?"

"That you were with Carly."

Jesse was still scrolling through his messages, seeing the ones from Beca.

_Hey stud! Heard you are busy 'studying' ;)_

_Is that what you college kids call sex nowadays? _

_Sorry I've missed you. Next time maybe?_

The last message was about an hour and a half ago. His fingers hovered over the last message and Jesse typed a reply. He was halfway through when Benji spoke up.

"So...let me get this right. There's nothing going on with you and Carly?"

Jesse stopped typing and looked up at his roommate. That was the million dollar question. Was there something going on? He couldn't answer that question exactly. Carly was fun. She was attractive. He enjoyed spending time with her. They were in the same classes. They worked at the same place. They had a lot in common. And she always did sit far too close, always laugh far too loudly at his stupid jokes. In a hundred and one ways, Carly had shown how much she wanted to take this..this thing..between them much further.

But she was not Beca.

And Beca was not here.

"I..I don't know." Jesse said. That was the closest he could come up with. "No. I don't think so." Benji looked far too stricken at his answer. "What's the matter, dude?"

"Shit! I told Chloe not to say anything. You've got to believe me."

"What's the matter, Benji?"

Benji was nervously trying to tidy up his magic swords, not looking directly at Jesse. "Chloe thought we should tell Beca. Dude, you were with Carly like ALL the time. We really thought there was something going on."

It made sense. In a convoluted way.

"Beca said anything about that?" Jesse asked, eyes fixed on the half typed message on his phone.

"About you and Carly?" Benji took a moment to think before answering. "She seems ok. I think she's ok with it, actually."

It was some time before Jesse nod at Benji's reply. His thumb automatically deleted the message he was about to send and Jesse carefully placed his phone back on his table.

* * *

It was a few weeks, during a party at some frat house that it finally happened. He was drinking far too much. It was the end of exams and he was trying to drown this unexplainable sadness he had been carrying these past few weeks. He was dancing, the alcohol fuelling that sloppy bump and grind he was doing with Carly. She was laughing. He was laughing. And Jesse had mistaken this fleeting sensation for happiness. So when Carly laughed up at him again, hair falling in her eyes, Jesse leant forward, kissing her fully on the mouth.

* * *

**Sophomore year**

He was bored waiting for Carly. He didn't know why Carly couldn't just go to the mall alone or just call him when she was ready to picked up. No. She had to insist he tagged along and now he had to stand around waiting for her while she did some serious damage at the stores right at this moment.

It was perfectly fine for him to just rifle through these gossip magazines whilst waiting, right?

Not that he was actually reading them. He was just casually picking up this particular one. Because it was the nearest, of course. Not because there was a mention of this hot new music sensation, Beca Mitchell on the front cover.

Ugh. That headline on the front cover was bait. There was not much of an article - just a lazy rehash of Beca's meteoric rise to fame. It was not even accurate. She was discovered singing some mash-up in a bowling alley? Like whaaaaatttt? Firstly, Beca hated bowling. She thought the shoes and the whole sticking your fingers into holes in a ball just plain weird. And secondly, who can hear anything above the din in a bowling alley?

The picture looked great though. Beca in full attitude, skinny high waisted jeans, long sleeved tight top, unbuttoned just a little too low.

The second magazine was much better. At least there was a proper interview and a full photo spread. He was so engrossed he didn't see Carly coming up to him until she was right in front of him.

"Aww honey! Are you getting me my favourite magazine?" Carly had squealed.

Jesse hurriedly closed the one he had in his hands and stuttered. "Ummm...yes. Thought you might like it. Tell you what. Let's get a few more, shall we?"

* * *

**Summer, Third Year**

"I've been reading about England. Do you know they have Mad Cow disease there, Jesse?"

"Ma...that was years ago."

His phone was propped between his ear and shoulder. He should really finish packing but Martha Swanson was on a roll. For the next five minutes, Jesse had to listen to his mom ticking off a long list why he shouldn't be backpacking in Europe and it didn't seem that Martha Swanson was about to stop anytime soon.

"Don't eat anything anyone in France offered you. It might be snails. They have curry sausages in Germany! Curry! And what's this I've heard the English eating this thing called Spotted Dick? Oh my god! My poor baby's going to starve!"

"Ma, I'll eat McDonalds everyday, ok?" Jesse tried to reassure her "It'll be fine."

"Mrs. Applebaum was just telling me last night Benji's going to L.A."

Jesse stopped trying to stuff another pair of jeans into his backpack. "Yeah. He's going to spend some time with the girls."

"Why don't you just go to LA, then?"

Why didn't he? Jesse dropped the jeans he was holding onto the floor, stifling that impatient sigh. "I'm going to Europe with Lisa, ma." He hoped that would be enough to placate his meddling mom. Jesse heard his mom snorting in disgust. Clearly it wasn't.

"Fine. Go to Europe with Miss 'I'm smarter that anyone in the room'. Go have fun."

"She's not like that, Ma. Lisa is very sweet, actually," Jesse said, defensively.

"Not when she made your Cousin Joey felt like five years old. She may be very bright but that girl could use some manners."

Jesse recollected the disastrous spring break when Lisa came over for a visit. Carly was a distant memory now and he had been going out with Lisa for about six months.

"I love you dearly, son. You are my pride and joy," his mom was going on now. "But can't you find a half decent girl to bring home? All of them are nightmares."

He was saved from providing an answer by a knock on the door. Chloe peered round the open door, all bouncy red curls and smiles and Jesse beckoned her to come inside.

"I've gotta go. Chloe's here."

"Ok, make sure you ring me before you leave. And don't sit on any leather couches in England. You'll never know about that mad cow disease."

Jesse made more reassuring noises to his mom, trying to end the call. By the time he had done that, Chloe had already made herself comfortable sitting crossed leg on Benji's bed. She had a thoughtful look on her face, her startling blue eyes scrutinising Jesse's face.

"What?" Jesse said, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"So... I spoke to Beca just now. " Chloe said. "She just found out you're not coming."

"Yeah. Well.."

"From your facebook status!" Chloe's voice went up a decibel. "What the hell, Jesse?!"

Jesse pressed his lips together, knowing he was going to get a lot of grief in the next few minutes.

"I'm going to Europe with Lisa. It's all planned."

"Oh? When was this? Like two weeks ago?" Chloe said in disbelief. "We've been planning this LA trip for months. Months! Beca was so excited we were coming. She even paid for the tickets."

Jesse was silent, desperately trying to stuff his socks into his backpack now. Why the hell where there no room in this bag? Should he get a bigger bag? Did he really want to schlep this heavy bag all around the continent?

""I would have thought you, of all people, would want to go to LA." Chloe said, trying to get some response out of him.

"Why would I?" Jesse shot back. He gave up stuffing those socks and went over to his desk. Chloe was making choking noises in her throat, too surprised at his response.

"That was all you wanted to do! LA was all you ever talked about."

"No. LA's not going to happen." Jesse said flatly, seemingly far too engrossed in stacking up his notes. "I don't intend to go there anytime soon."

"But... Beca - "

"No, Chloe!"

Jesse's voice was never raised that high and Chloe's mouth fell shut in surprise. Jesse sighed, feeling a little guilty now.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout. LA is just not in my plans anymore, ok? And Beca -" He hesitated, trying to get his thoughts in order. "I hardly know Beca anymore."

Chloe swallowed hard. "I don't understand this, Jess. What happened?"

How could he explain this?

How could he explain this huge Beca-shaped hole in his life that could not be filled even after three years? Even with all the college work he threw himself into. Even with him being captain of the Treblemakers. Even with that constant parade of girlfriends that had come and gone.

How can he explain this sadness seeing Beca, his Beca, changed beyond recognition? Tottering out half drunk from one wild party after another. In the magazines, in the news. Her hair changed, her smile changed. One gossip after another. One hot celebrity boyfriend after another.

And yet... and yet, Luke.

Luke was the constant. Photos of her looking radiant on Luke's arm at the Grammys, photos of her in casual jeans and tshirt, out shopping with Luke beside her wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, hand in hand, interviews with them together. Always _"Beca Mitchell and Luke Smith" _together in one line in all the newspapers, all the articles, all the stuff that spewed out wherever he looked.

How can he explain all these without breaking?

So he did the next best thing. He would be as far away from LA and Beca Mitchell as he could. He was sure she hardly thought about him anyway. They had not talked much in the past six months. Six. He knew because sometimes he did checked his phone and email and Twitter. He absolutely refused to make the first move to get back in touch. Because what if she didn't reply back?

No, she won't miss him like at all. She had this exciting new life in LA, far too occupied to remember him. So Jesse Swanson turned away, telling himself he had finally moved on.

* * *

He had moved on.

Somewhat.

The last he saw her was during graduation. She was there and Jesse was not expecting that. All he knew his mom had him in a mortal grip of a hug and he thought he saw her. But it couldn't be. Why would Beca Mitchell be here? He was about to pass that off as him seeing things when Benji and Chloe had jumped on him saying "Beca's here! Have you seen her? Oh my god, she's here!"

He had immediately looked around wildly, trying to find her. The crowd milling around was too thick and she was only small. Jesse was about to run back to ask Chloe and Benji to help him find her when he finally saw her. She was already walking away and Jesse shouted her name, running after her at full pelt.

It was most odd. He didn't know why he ran after her. He thought he would be cool either seeing or _not_ seeing Beca Mitchell. Yeah. Totally cool. No biggie. Whatever. It would be fine. But seeing her laughing, throwing her head back as he ran up to her, Jesse suddenly just felt ridiculously happy. Outrageously, ludicrously happy.

She was in a demure blue dress with pretty white flowers embroidered on the neckline. He was about to tease her about it but he was trying to catch his breath and he was sweating, with this gown flapping about. He was still trying to get over the shock of seeing her. And she just looked so amazing he couldn't really speak.

He had looked around, dreading to see Luke hovering near but she was alone. She said she would be around for a few days and when that penny dropped, Jesse groaned inwardly that he had to leave so soon. It would have been good to catch up. He was in that place where he felt it would be okay hanging out with her.

He had not told her about New York and it all came blurting out. She looked really happy for him, telling him it was a great programme and how much he would love New York. And all he wanted to do was to hug her. Hug her so tight that she would laugh and squeal out loud and kicked him hard on his shins to let her go. Which was a stupid, stupid thought. They were just standing in this quad, sun shining, saying one polite word after another, just feet away from each other. Just freaking feet away yet so, so far apart.

And he said his goodbye to her.

* * *

**Present**

"Aren't you coming to bed?"

Emily was standing by the doorway, rubbing her eyes sleepily. Jesse was still hard at work, hammering out this score which he had been struggling with all day.

"No. Got to finish this," he answered, not looking up from his keyboard. A moment later, he felt Emily's hands on his shoulders, rubbing in circles before those hands dipped further down. She leaned into him, pressing her body against his.

"Sure I can't convince you?" Emily whispered breathily into his right ear, hands now running down his sides.

"I'm meeting Jason first thing, babe," Jesse replied, fingers busy tapping on his keyboard. "I'll come in later."

Emily dropped her hands and straightened up with a sigh. "Ok, I'm going to bed." And when Jesse didn't answer, she left the room, slamming the door behind her. Jesse was momentarily startled at that loud slam, wondering what brought that on before he was consumed back into that score that had been frustrating the hell out of him.

What was the matter with him?

He couldn't seem to figure this out.

He had gone back to it once Benji had left. That short break, just chilling and eating pizza with Benji had been just what he needed but now he was hitting this brick wall again. Jesse sighed and gazed at the blank wall right in front of him, trying to find some inspiration.

He should really put up something on that wall.

It was just this huge, blank white space and no amount of staring at it seemed to inspire him.

He had the perfect painting too. It was the right size, the right colours, the right subject.

He had known he had to have the painting as soon as he saw it in Aubrey's studio. It was beautiful. He had loved the way the woman's dark hair flew across the canvas, spilling out into a river of notes. He had loved the quiet smile that graced her lips, her eyes closed, like she was lost in her own world. He couldn't tell whether she was sad or happy or pensive. That was the intriguing thing. But Jesse knew if he could make someone to smile like that listening to his score, he would have won.

That painting was spectacular.

If he shut his eyes now, he could see how that painting looked.

And how Beca looked in front of it.

Jesse's hands moved almost unconsciously across his keyboard. Now that his mind was not overthinking the score, now that he had this picture of that painting and Beca standing in front of it in a lacy green dress, her back to him, the notes spilled effortlessly from his fingers.


	6. Chapter 6

**_For Casey, if she's reading this. Happy birthday._**

_Previously on Thinking Out Loud:_

_"Jason Moore is directing a new film," Luke said. "They were asking for a new song to tie in -"_

_"That sounds interesting," Beca said._

_"- and there's a walk-on role in the movie."_

_"What? No!" Beca nearly spat out the coffee she was drinking._

_"Why not?" Luke said, sounding puzzled on the phone._

_"No. Movies are not my thing," Beca refused flatly._

_"But writing a song is fine?" Luke challenged. When Beca didn't answered, he said in a softer tone. "Babe, just think about it, ok? At least I can tell Nate you're trying to get out there and he'll give you space to work on the music."_

_"Ok," Beca reluctantly agreed._

_"Ok to the walk-on part?"_

_"Ok to me thinking about it," Beca said testily._

* * *

_"Aren't you coming to bed?" Emily asked standing at the doorway. Jesse was still hard at work, hammering out this score which he had been struggling with the whole day._

_"No, I've got to finish this," he said, not looking up._

_"Sure I can't convince you?" Emily whispered breathily into his ear, hands sliding down his sides._

_"I've got a meeting with Jason first thing in the morning, babe," Jesse answered, fingers busy taping on his keyboard. "I'll come in later."_

_Emily dropped her hands and she straightened up with a sigh. "Ok, I'm going to bed." And when Jesse didn't answer, she left the room, slamming the door behind her._

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Jesse leant back into the orange sofa, listening to the music swirling around him. He had worked late last night to finish the set, crawling into bed at nearly two in the morning. He was nearly late for this meeting, hastily munching on an energy bar while navigating through the morning traffic. Luckily, traffic that morning wasn't so bad and he arrived at Jason Moore's office with seconds to spare.

To Jesse's professional ear, the tune playing right now sounded a little rough. Of course these were just samples - quick thirty second tracks based on the creative meetings he had with Jason and the screenwriter months ago. They were meant to be rough. Still, that obsessive perfectionist in him thought he could do so much better.

"Play the last one again."

Jason the director was perched at the corner of his desk, one hand rubbing his chin as he listened. When Jesse played the track again, Jason stood up, pacing round the room and finally stopping in front of Jesse as the last note hung in the air. He pushed his glasses back onto his face and stared intently at the dark-haired man sitting down on the sofa.

"I love it! They all sound fantastic," Jason said, his face breaking into a huge smile. "I knew you'll come through."

Jesse smiled back and inwardly sighed in relief. He felt more confident now. It was always dicey playing samples like these. He was glad that Jason immediately understood where he was heading with the score.

"Glad you liked them," he quipped. "I'll get to work on the full version and get them to you."

Jason casually waved away what Jesse was saying and sat down opposite him.

"We wont need the tracks until post," Jason said, now restlessly sifting through pages of the script and reading the notes Jesse wrote in the margins. "I'm really excited what you had in mind for the riff off. I think those songs will be great."

"You like them, huh?" Jesse laughed, raising his eyebrows. "You know they are not going to be cheap, right? Finance's okay with this?"

"That's why I hire you as musical director, slick," Jason smiled, peering at Jesse through the tops of his glasses. "Go and charm Christine and maybe she loosen the purse strings a little."

Jesse just shook his head, chuckling in return. He knew how Jason worked and had enjoyed the last project they did together. He didn't need much persuasion when Jason rang, asking him to come on board. Plus the movie was all about college acapella. His hidden nerd burst out into song at the thought of being part of this movie.

"Just one more thing -" Jason was saying now.

Jesse looked up from the MacBook balanced in his knees. Jason was fiddling with the script now and was looking slightly nervous.

"The studio thinks the movie is solid. We'll probably break even if Christine keeps us in the straight and narrow. But they want to be a bit more certain it's going to be a hit."

"Ok-" Jesse answered slowly, not entirely getting what the other guy was getting at.

"So. They managed to secure someone famous to write a single for the movie. You guys are probably going to have to work together - " Jason scratched his stubble; not quite meeting Jesse's eyes. "- Now, I heard she can be a little challenging -"

Great.

Just great.

This was why Jesse hated the thought of working in LA. Egos around here are as fragile as glass. Jesse wanted to make a success of this job and he could already foresee a few long, tiring months ahead. He would already have his hands full and he wouldn't have time to pander to anyone's ego and walk on eggshells. The last thing he really needed was to babysit some stupid famous star who probably had a one hit wonder five years ago.

"- I hope you're ok with this," Jason said in an apologetic tone. "That's why I asked you to come in today. She has an hour window and could swing by to meet with us - hey, here she is now."

The intercom had buzzed and Jason hastily moved towards his office door. He opened it and was clearly delighted to see who was on the other side. From where he was sitting, Jesse couldn't make out who it was. The visitor was just behind the door and all he could see was Jason stooping down to hug the newcomer. Jesse psyched himself to see who this famous star he had to mollycoddle for the duration of the movie. He had to start on the right foot and hopefully, whoever this was would play nice and let him get on with his job.

"Great to see you!" Jason exclaimed, giving her another hug. The star hugged back and Jesse frowned. Those tiny, fair hands. One clutching a phone, both with lethal looking rings adorning pale fingers and leather bracelets stacked up each wrists.

"Jason, you great big lug! Get off me! Let me breathe."

Yep. And that snarky voice.

Jason laughed, releasing the woman and stepping aside. And there stood Beca Mitchell, blinking at Jesse Swanson in surprise.

* * *

Beca Mitchell didn't like surprises.

She was pretty well known in the industry for that. She had a fearsome reputation for kicking out countless staff off her team or walking out on a project if anything strange or unplanned was sprung on her. So Jason was understandably nervous when Beca Mitchell stood rigid at the doorway, staring hard at the dark-haired man lounging on the sofa.

"Who's this?" came the hostile question.

"This is Jesse," Jason hastily did the introduction, sounding as chipper as he could. "Jesse Swanson. He's our musical director."

Beca cocked her head to one side.

"Never heard of him," she said. "Newbie?"

Jason was on tenterhooks now.

"Jesse's been working in London and New York mostly," he explained. "He's amazing, Beca. You should listen to some of the sample tracks he's working on. We were just -"

"No," Beca said haughtily. "I don't work with amateurs -"

"So this is the famous star you're talking about?"

Jason's attention swivelled to Jesse sitting on the couch. He had been a bit puzzled by Jesse's frosty reception as soon as Beca stepped into the room. He had always been an easy going, friendly sorta kinda guy and Jason had expect him to, at least, stand up and greet Beca in his usual charming way. Instead, Jesse was leaning back onto the sofa with a sceptical, almost sneering look in his face.

"Disappointing," Jesse scoffed, shaking his head. "I thought the studio could do better. Was Nicky Minaj not available?"

"Jesse -" Jason spoke up warningly. However he could already feel Beca bristling by his side.

"Oh, I'm not good enough for your pissy movie, am I?" Beca scoffed back dangerously. "You're not exactly Joe Williams or..or..Randy Elfman, are you?"

"It's John Williams and Danny Elfman," Jesse corrected her superciliously. "Please. You're embarrassing yourself."

"Jason!" Beca flared up, turning to face the poor director who was quaking slightly in his shoes. "Are you going to let that douche talk to me like that?"

"Ok. Hey. Fellas -" Jason stuttered. "Let's just all calm -"

"Now if you had watched all those movies like I told you to -" Jesse smirked, getting up to his feet.

"Who has time to watch all the Star Wars episode back to back?" Beca interrupted rudely. "Not only you forced me to watch all those movies all those years ago, now I have to work in one with you?"

"You're in my hood now, nerd," Jesse crowed victoriously. "Watch your step."

Jason was watching in horror as the two of them started flinging increasingly rude insults. This was a disaster. If these two didn't work, it could seriously set back production and cost money. Then it slowly dawned on him. They were trash talking hard, the air singed blue with curses but -

"Wait." Jason yelled to get a word in edgewise. "You guys know each other?"

* * *

"That went well." Jesse commented.

The meeting was over and after saying goodbye to Jason, both Beca and Jesse came out of his office in high spirits. After Jason figured out what the hell was happening, Beca couldn't contain her giggles. Jesse just shook his head in mock disappointment that Beca couldn't keep up with the charade and then explained to a very relieved Jason that, yes, they did know each other, this was all a trick prick and they were just winding him up. After a few choice swear words from Jason, they finally sat down to talk about the the movie. Beca was brought up to speed about what was the movie about and Jesse played some of the tracks. It was a good meeting.

"Yeah, nerd. That went well," Beca agreed. She then grinned as soon as they left the office and walked to the reception area. "Did you see Jason's face? Shit. We are bad people."

"Eh. He's fine," Jesse shrugged. "I worked with him before. We pulled so many stunts and he's always ok with it. Good acting, by the way. You out-diva Mariah Carey."

"Dude, no one out-diva Mariah Carey," Beca chuckled. They were at the lift lobby and she pressed the button to call the elevator. She turned towards Jesse, a half smile pulling at her mouth. "I wasn't really expecting to see you sitting down there," Beca said. "Frankly, I didn't know whether you're going to roll with it."

"I wasn't expecting you to walk through the door either," Jesse confessed. "Of all the movie sets, in all the towns, in all the world, you walk into mine -" he commented wryly.

"That's a bad quote, Jesse. Jason's office is not a movie set," Beca shook her head. "I'm disappointed in you."

It was hard not to grin at the fake disappointment on her face. Jesse knew despite all his best effort years ago, she couldn't care less about movies if she tried. He should at least be thankful she vaguely remember that quote from Casablanca. He had forced her to watch that movie when they were thirteen. Was it possible it was that many years ago? Where had all the time gone?

"So..how you've been?" Jesse asked.

They hadn't met in the weeks following him and Emily spending that day at her place. As usual, Emily had been hassling him to call Beca and hang out but this time, Jesse had been legitimately busy. He also felt they shouldn't impose.

"Good. Very busy," Beca replied in a clipped note, occupied with scrolling through her phone. They stepped into the elevator and under the less than flattering fluorescent light, Beca caught how tired Jesse looked. "Looks like you've been busy too. Lots of late nights, huh?"

Jesse chuckled and rubbed his face with one hand.

"Does it show?" he asked.

"Dude, you looked like that time when you had to finish that Science project," Beca remarked. "You thought Mrs. Jackson was going to fail you if you didn't hand it in On time. I had to basically force-fed you coffee all day to stay awake and you were freaking annoying."

"I did get an 'A' though," Jesse mused, remembering that project.

"Of course you did," Beca teased. "Mrs. Jackson had the hots for you."

"Beca, she was like a hundred," Jesse whined back, his face creasing a little in disgust. Beca just gave him an eye roll and Jesse smiled a little tightly before confessing why he looked like death. "I was up late finishing those samples. One or two were giving me a bit of trouble."

"I don't know what you were worried about. They were brilliant," Beca mused, eyes back on her phone. She started humming one of the tracks Jesse played earlier. "That one's a really solid tune. I could work with that."

Yeah, that was one he had the most of problem with. He was hitting a brick wall and it only worked once he stopped overthinking it and let his mind wander. Jesse shifted uncomfortably when he remembered the image that came to mind as he worked through his mental block. It was a picture of Beca at the gallery, standing in front of giant canvas with her back to him. The image was so vivid in his mind as he let his fingers roa ed over the keys. The green of her lacy dress contrasting against her alabaster skin. Still so pale after all these years under the Californian sun. The black inscription tattooed on her lower back and that pink floral ink on her shoulder. Jesse remembered she got that floral ink the three weeks she disappeared from senior year after Aubrey was mean to her. It was so strange that Beca was actually drawn to that tune.

The elevator door sprung opened and they stepped into the lobby. A huge, hulking man in a suit was waiting and he straightened up to approach them as soon as they came out. Beca shook her head towards her bodyguard, indicating she was not ready yet and he stopped in his tracks, giving them some space to talk.

"So -" Beca drawled, looking up at Jesse. "This is what you've been doing with all your time? Scoring movies?"

"What?" Jesse replied, giving her a side eye. "Why is this a surprise? You knew that what I wanted to do when I grow up."

"You're nowhere nearly grown," Beca scoffed, only to have Jesse teasingly bumped his shoulder into her.

"Still bigger than you," he shot back. "I can still put you in a headlock."

"Don't even try. You see Paulo over there?" Beca replied, pointing at her huge bodyguard nearby. "He will seriously hurt you. I'm not even kidding."

Jesse took a look at the stern security and shook his head, laughing.

"Yeah ok, I forgot whom I speaking to -" he conceded, his face split into his trademark grin. It had been seven years and Beca Mitchell was a star. Jesse realised that. Her life was very much different to when they were teenagers. But maybe some things hadn't changed?

"Can I at least buy you a burrito?" he asked.

"Burrito huh?" Beca said.

"Yep," Jesse nodded. "The best in LA. Remember the one I talked about? It's only about five minute walk from here."

Oh, she knew what he was talking about. They were making Pimms in her kitchen when he was bragging about finding the best burrito in LA. Three months here he already found it? Beca also knew he was itching to crow about what a genius he was. That arrogant bastard.

"Carne Asada, extra guacamole, hold the cheese," Jesse intoned, dangling the offer in the air. "You know you want one."

Beca tilted her head to one side.

She didn't have time. Her phone already was buzzing in her hand. It was probably Sandra trying to get through. She had a full afternoon ahead. Two meetings. A dress fitting and she really needed to do some work on her music. She should really head straight to her studio now. But Jesse Swanson was standing in front of her in his smart jeans and plaid shirt, smiling that cocky, boyish grin she remember so well. That burrit sounded delicious and damn it, he remembered her favourite order.

"Yeah, ok then," Beca finally agreed, slipping her phone into her bag. "Lead the way"

Jesse"s grin couldn't be wider.

"You're paying," Beca huffed, putting her sunglasses on.

Jesse shrugged. "Don't I always."

* * *

Oh. My. God.

Where have this freaking burrito been all her life?

Beca had taken two bites and was chewing slowly, savouring the taste. She got to admit she was a trifle sceptical when they took the short walk over. It was a nondescript food truck with a crooked handwritten sign. There was no queue but Beca had taken an experimental sniff and the smells coming out of the truck were promising. She hung back as Jesse marched up to the window and ordered their food, coming back with the wraps and two sodas. He had insisted she ate it on the spot so here they were, standing by the kerb, with the crinkly, silver foiled wraps in their hand, wolfing down the delicious burritos.

"Good huh?" Jesse was saying, watching Beca's face closely.

Beca just shushed him in between bites. Heavenly food like this deserved to be eaten in reverence and silence. Seriously, that burrito was fucking divine. Jesse chuckled, knowing Beca was serious about her food. He continued with his, not saying another other word and slowly finished his off, crumpling the paper in his hands.

"This -" Beca breathed out. "- is fucking amazing."

Jesse turned in amusement at the expletive coming out of the tiny brunette. She still have half a burrito in her hand and had this stunned look on her face.

"Told you," Jesse said smugly. Beca shushed him again, concentrating hard on her food. He was contented to let her eat in silence but there was something niggling at the back of Jesse's mind. He just had to ask but Jesse wisely let Beca finished her burrito before speaking up.

"So..you and Benji's been in touch?"

Beca swallowed the last bite before replying.

"Yeah. Thanks for giving Benji my number. It was great catching up with him," she said. Beca took a slow sip of her soda, the expression on her face growing a little thoughtful. "I mean, it sucks that he had to move here because of his divorce and not know anyone. I wished I knew he was in LA then. I could've helped."

"From what I've heard, you already have," Jesse commented, not looking directly at Beca. "Benji was telling me about you're helping with his project fund."

"Yeah. About that -" Beca said, picking at the silver foil in her hand. "I'm happy to help but I can only do what I could. They have to think about long term funding and that'll take a lot of work and a long time. Meanwhile Benji needs to eat."

"I know." Jesse nodded. Benji didn't say much but Jesse knew the project was operating on bare minimum as it was. A couple of months from now and Benji would be worried about making rent. Proud guy as he was, he would not accept any handouts from anyone; less of all Jesse.

"Have you thought about bringing Benji on board?"

Jesse looked up, a little puzzled.

"On board what?"

Beca rolled her eyes.

"The movie!" she deadpanned. "It's a movie about acapella. To be precise, it's a movie about college co-eds freaking out over acapella. Weren't you both part of this organised nerd singing shit back in college? The Treblaymakers or something equally lame?"

"It's the Treblemakers," Jesse quickly piped up in defence. "And I have to let you know, there is nothing lame about synchronised dancing to a top 40s Rihanna song whilst making music with our mouths."

"Yeah. There is a whole lot of negatives in that sentence; but I will let it slide," Beca said, trying not to laugh. "Think about it. You'll probably need all the help you can get. Benji can freelance this gig and it will tide him over until something's concrete is in place."

There was some truth in that and Jesse mulled over it.

"You think I should hire Benji?" he asked. "Like on a consultancy basis?"

"You're the musical director," Beca shrugged. "You call the shots, baby. Hire who you need."

The idea never occurred to him and Jesse knew why.

"This is actually a huge step up for me," he confessed. "It's good of Jason to ask me to do this. I was mainly scoring for off-Broadway and indies."

"He won't ask you if he wasn't sure you'll deliver," Beca answered. "So chill, homie. You've got this."

Somehow, hearing it from her made him felt much better. Jesse took a sip of his Coke, thinking how it had always been like that. Back at school, whenever he was racked with doubt, Beca always knew the right thing to say. She also had eaten that burrito too greedily and had bits at the side of her mouth.

"You might want to wipe your mouth," Jesse chuckled. "You're wasting good burrito there."

Beca immediately raised a hand to wipe her mouth and Jesse shook his head, laughing. She completley missed and he reached out to brush off the crumbs off her face.

"You still eat like a child," he scolded.

"Shut up," Beca answered crossly, drinking her soda noisily on purpose.

"Oh my god! You're Beca Mitchell!"

Jesse nearly jumped out of his skin hearing that squeal from behind. A girl about sixteen was standing a few feet away, looking visibly excited. She was bouncing on her feet, face split into a huge grin.

"I love you!" the girl shrieked further. "Oh my god! I love all your songs. I begged my dad to bring to me all your concerts. Candice is not going to believe this! She's not going to believe I met you! Can I have a selfie please?"

Jesse thought the teenager was going to combust when Beca agreed to a selfie. He stood aside, watching open mouthed as a couple of the girls' friends came over. Beca seemed to take everythinf in her stride, smiling graciously at the overly thrilled teenagers. She chatted cheerfully to the group and gamely took a few selfies. Then somehow, she deftly extracted herself, saying goodbye to the group and quickly walking away towards Jesse. She didn't stop and Jesse hastily fall in stride as they made their way back. She also didn't say a word.

"That happens all the time, huh?" Jesse said, breaking the silence between them.

Beca didn't answer. She just absentmindedly nodded, still powering on. Her shoulders were hunched, swiftly tapping a message on her phone and Jesse noticed she only visibly relaxed when they were within sight of the office.

"You ok?" Jesse asked, a little worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Beca mumbled.

Jesse frowned, noting the tense look on her face. He thought she didn't look fine.

"Where you worried about them?" Jesse asked. "You don't have to, y'know. I could've protected you. Show them some of my moves. Throw in a bit of Chuck Norris and Jedi mind tricks."

He meant to make her laugh, to get rid of the worried look on her face but Beca rolled her eyes instead, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Since it was Beca Mitchell, it was kinda the same thing.

"Yeah. Whatever, nerd," Beca scoffed. "Try those Jedi mind tricks and I'll probably have to rescue you."

They were right outside the office now and a black BMW swung round to stop beside the both of them. Paulo emerged from the driver's side, hurrying over to where Beca was. He looked slightly grim.

"Thanks for lunch," Beca said, looking at Jesse. He had his backpack slung on one shoulder, hand gripping the lone strap. Just the way he used to carry his bag years ago, Beca thought. "My ride's here. Do you need a lift?"

"No, I drove."

Beca nodded at his response. Paulo had already opened the door for her and he should really get going. Sandra would not stop nagging her if she didn't keep up with the day's schedule. Beca was about to turn towards the car when Jesse spoke up again.

"It was great seeing you, Bec."

"Yeah. Great seeing you too." Beca replied, turning back. She chewed her lower lip for the moment and felt she had to explain what happened. "Sorry if I freaked you out just now. I get a little nervous when they surprise me like that."

"You do? I thought you did really well back there. You've probably made their day, Bec," Jesse said kindly.

"Yeah, they were sweet kids," Beca said. "And polite. I don't mind it if they are nice and polite. It's when they - you know what, never mind."

She looked slightly strained and a little tired. Jesse watched as Beca wove that look away, covering it with a tight smile. He wondered what brought the about, but it was probably not the right time for him to ask. They said their goodbyes and Jesse's eyes followed the car until it disappeared from view. His phone vibrated in his pocket and Jesse nearly laughed out loud at the message flashing up on his screen.

_I can't believe I am working on a MOVIE with you._

_You owe me mucho burritos, dude_ \- came the second message.

He could almost hear the snark in those texts. It was strange, really. He had avoided LA for the longest time because of this. Yeah, he knew LA was huge and the chance of bumping into Beca was close into nil. Initially Jesse couldn't bear the thought of bumping into her and both of them having to pretend and fake-act through an uncomfortable encounter. But the times they've met had been fine and here he was, about to work in a movie with Beca Mitchell. Much to her disgust. Jesse had to shake his head at the thought. Some things never change.

His phone buzzed again and Jesse eagerly looked down, thinking it was another message from Beca. It wasn't.

"Hi baby!" Emily's voice trilled down the phone. "How's the meeting?"

"Hey," Jesse answered. "Yeah. Fine. It went fine."

"Yay! Knew you'll be great," Emily squealed. "So did you meet anyone famous?"

Jesse thought out it for a second.

"No one," he fibbed. "It's just one of those production meetings. We were just hashing out some stuff."

"Oh. Ok," Emily said. "Shall we go out for lunch? I read about this really cute Italian place. Ryan Gosling goes there all the time. What do you think?"

"Ermm... Actually I just ate," Jesse said. "Why don't you go? I have to meet up with Benji anyway. It's about work."

It took a few more minutes of placating a petulant Emily and a promise they would go out for dinner tonight before the conversation ended and Jesse hung up. He took a deep breath and stared at his phone. Benji would be at work, really and wouldn't be free until four. He just said no to meeting up with his girlfriend for lunch. And Jesse also wondered why did he lie to Emily about meeting Beca just now.

* * *

AN_ : O. Em. Aca-gee. When did I started this fic? And when was the last time I updated? Clue : It must be before PP2 because I wouldn't have used Emily as a name. Ah well. Too late. I make poor choices when it comes to names. I hope you guys are still reading this. It's cold in London so a hot mug of tea and warm from the oven cyber cookies for everyone!_


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